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How to stop someone from coming to a funeral?

Is there any way to stop someone from coming to a funeral? Your DH's mother hates you! Is mean to you for every reason she can make up. Now you have a funeral of a loved one! This person your MIL does NOT know. Never ever met. But she wants to come to the funeral to aggravate you! And probably to embarrass you and see her son. He's 50! How can you get her not to come? Why would or should she come? Her son won't say no! She just broke up with her Boyfriend over Christmas to have her Freedom. Now she's back with her boyfriend so he will take her to this funeral! Nuts huh? Why would anyone attend a funeral for someone you don't know? Is this typical? Does anyone else have a MIL like this? Why? What can one do? Any good ideas? Thank you for understanding! I can't make this up!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Tell her the funeral is JUST for family.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:44 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Sounds like you need to have your husband tell her not to come if she won't listen to you
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I would let her go and make a big as* out of herself.

    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 9:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I'd like to hope she was going solely to be supportive of you. At least, that's what most people would do when going to a funeral in a similar situation.
    As for asking her not to come, I wouldn't, personally. I mean, funerals aren't an invitation only sort of thing.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 9:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • mine's even crazier...no matter what you do she's going to come so try not to stress over it
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 10:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • You can't make her do anything. If your husband were more supportive, that would be helpful but since he doesn't seem to be concerned about how his mother treats you then you seem to be on your own. Ignore her and let her look like the dumbass.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:07 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Maybe she is going to be supportive of her son and daughter in law? You can NOT make her not do something. If she shows up IGNORE her. It is your husbands place to talk to his mother about her behavior and if he hasn't by now, it will never happen.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Remember what a person says or does is a reflection of his own self. This goes for how someone reacts as well. Don't go out of your way but try to act in such a way that you will be happy to look at your own reflection. People are not stupid. They will see the insicerity of her actions unless you feel a need to point them out. If you do it will only seem as if you are the insincere one. Trust human nature.
    KISS1224

    Answer by KISS1224 at 11:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • You need to flat out tell her she is NOT WELCOME. She has NO reason to be there. Actually your DH should be telling her this, out of respect for YOU.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 12:33 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • My daughter's Grandmother on her father's side died in 1997. I loved her like she was my own Grandmother, and I wanted to be there for her funeral. My daughter was almost 9 at the time. When we went and visited the house, my ex-MIL told me that she didn't want me there. It hurt, but I got over it. But the point is, my daughter's Grandmother was treated poorly by her DIL and she told me that I treated her better than she ever did. Which said a lot on it's on. My ex-MIL never liked me, and I could never do anything right in her eyes for her son. She's the reason we divorced in the first place.

    But, shy would she want to go to someone's funeral that she doesn't even know? That's stupid I agree. She's probably just doing it to spite you just like my ex-MIL did to me. Just let a close family member to this person know that you wanted to be there, but you decided not to go because you didn't want to make a scene with her.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:58 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

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