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2 Bumps

Should I be done for good???

My baby's father left me, which he's done several times, three days before Christmas. The time before he broke of our engagement, kicked me and my two daughters out, when I was 8 weeks pregnant. Before that he'd break up with me for a couple of days and then come back. His reason is my mistrust of him. But he is an alcoholic, sometimes on the wagon, and I have found evidence of him being with other women. He tried to make me think I was crazy, being so suspicious of him...but I felt my suspicions were warranted. I do love him and want more than anything for us to be a family - our baby is only two months old. Our sex life was amazing, for both of us - although he was less interested in it than I was.

My question is: After all this, if he comes back and says all the right things, should I take him back? Right now I don't think I would. But I've been weak before.

Answer Question
 
beshka76

Asked by beshka76 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (623 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Yes I would not stand for that you deserve 100% better! as do your little ones!
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 10:33 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I've been where you are. I would not take him back. Give yourself lots of time to think about what you want to do. But if you don't trust that he can stay sober it will always be and issue. If you can't trust him to faithful then that will always be an issue. If you can't get past these things he's done to you, you'll drive yourself nuts wondering if he's still up to his old tricks.

    For me it wasn't worth the all the worry I would have wasted on him. There has been way too much happen in our past that I can't move on from.
    myree85

    Answer by myree85 at 10:33 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Do you really think it's all worth it? Is there stability, and love from him on a daily basis? Your children need that now more than anything and if that means leaving him out of it then you should. It's not fair to your children to live on such a roller coaster. No matter how much you love someone you can't make them change, they have to want to. It seems it's something he needs to do on his own. If he wants to get better, then he will, and then if he truly wants to have a family life with you, and you do to, then it's meant to be. Learn to love yourself, and put your children first, they deserve that much.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:37 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • No, you should 100% not take him back ever. Sex is never a reason just to tolerate someone.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:37 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Yes and then you should get doormat tattooed on your forehead.

    No really though I don't care how much you love someone you can't make them love you back. Kicking a pregnant women out with her 2 kids is a lot of things but its not love.

    Any of the times that he has told you all the right things and promised to do this that and the other things has he followed through?

    Just think what it does to your kids as well.

    I hope you figure it all out.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 10:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • The sex may be good, and you may have strong feelings for him, but 10 years down the road you are going to resent the way he treated you and hate yourself for putting up with it. Even if he does change. Don't expect less than what you deserve, and that is trust and respect.
    berrysweetmamma

    Answer by berrysweetmamma at 10:39 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • You need to educate yourself on alcoholism and your role in his addiction. Don't feed his addiction. Don't enable him. If you want a good life for your children then walk away, get in a group for moral support and tell him to get sober or not come back. Tell him to join AA
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK.You are making him think it's ok treating you like this because you keep taking & putting up with him. You need to be strong & let it go. If he wants to make things work he will have to prove it to you.

    iluvmykidsxoxo

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 10:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Don't do it. He's not worth it. He will do it again. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice - shame on me.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 10:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • If you are asking this in a public forum, you know the answer to the question. You are just looking for validation.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

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