I have been with my husband for 8 yrs now. And he has never held a steady job. We have had some good times where we have made it but the last 6 months we are falling farther and farther in to debt/utility shut offs/danger of losing house etc. I have talked to him about it and he'll job search for a week maybe an interview or 2 then back to inventing and trying to get rich quick. It is wrecking my marriage and breaking my heart. I can't even stand to be around him sometimes. He is a great husband otherwise sweet, attentive and a great dad patient and playful. I don't know if I should continue to talk to him or take desperate measures and threaten to leave. I am so torn and am dying inside. I welcome any advice . Thank you!Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Relationships
Answer by vbruno at 11:09 PM on Nov. 11, 2008
Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 11:10 PM on Nov. 11, 2008
Answer by softchick21 at 11:15 PM on Nov. 11, 2008
Well, you can't really MAKE anybody do anything that they don't want to do...especially not a grown adult.
If he will not keep a steady job and provide for your family, you may need to be the one who does that. YOU may need to get the full time job. If you already have a full time job and it's not enough to pay the bills, maybe selling the house and finding something more affordable would be beneficial. I wouldn't tell him to leave...that will just be more costly because then you would have to pay for daycare and whatnot. I would just let him be a SAHD and YOU wear the pants in the family if ya know what I mean...that's really all that you CAN do at the moment.
He needs a wake up call and if after 8 years he still hasn't taken the initiative to build a future for his family by getting a steady insome, it doesn't seem like it's gonna happen anytime soon (if ever) no matter what you say or do or how much you threaten to divorce him.
There are LOTS of families that do reverse roles and the mom is full-time while the dad stays at home.
Answer by AvasMommy810 at 11:20 PM on Nov. 11, 2008
Answer by hopelessnance at 11:26 PM on Nov. 11, 2008
Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Nov. 11, 2008
Answer by Babujai at 12:20 AM on Nov. 12, 2008
But if hasn't had anything steady in 8 years. The economy cannot be blamed at this point, because the economy hasn't been for 8 straight years. He should just be a man, and start providing. I would hope he would do the cooking and cleaning not just sitting on his derriere, all day.
Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Nov. 12, 2008