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How do you discipline your child?

Spanking? Time outs? Groundings? How do you punish your children and how old are they? Does it work?

 
mrskrisher

Asked by mrskrisher at 10:56 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 15 (1,889 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • We do all those things and more. It depends on what they did, if they seem remorseful, their attitude and obedience, if I found out on my own or they fessed up, etc etc.

    Right now my DH and I are trying hard to stress COME TO US FOR HELP and then there's teamwork to fix whatever is wrong. Don't hide, don't keep secrets.

    Our spanking is down to 1x a month or so at this point. And since they know we'll do it if need be, the threat of it holds alot of power.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • No spanking. Rarely time outs needed as my kids grow. I still "count to 3", but rarely get to 3. I tell them the consequence and what i expect before i count. Sometimes "the look" is all that is needed for behavior correction on their part. The consequences depend on the situation. Younger it was time out or a privilage taken away (like earned tv/play time), for my older one since he's working on handwriting in school, if he does something that warrents me saying it to be "imprinted", rather than repeating myself, he has to write sentences. Like one sentence he had to write a few weeks ago when he was calling everyone "dude" was 'dude is not a name', wrote it 20 times, didn't use it with adults anymore. I've been lucky, my kids have always taken to re-direction well.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 11:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • My son's only 16 months old, so we don't really "discipline." He's learning he has to clean up now when he makes a mess, and I make sure he puts things away. When he actually misbehaves, we'll be introducing the concept fo time out. No spankings in this household.

    My parents were very creative when I got in trouble. They always identified the thing that was closest to our hearts-- phone for me and tv for my brother-- and withdrew that item we loved. As we got older, we got our car keys taken away, etc. Curfew was the biggest battle I had with them-- my mom set an alarm clock outside her bedroom door. It was set for 5 minutes after I was supposed to be home. If I was home in time to turn it off- no problem. If it went off... big problem!!!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 11:20 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • time out in their beds for however old they are.... if they are 5 then they stay there for 5 mins- we set the timer
    MommyBulger

    Answer by MommyBulger at 11:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I find more and more I don't have to do any of the above. We never spanked. I do redirection before the situation gets out of control. A great saying is be a thermostat and not a thermometer. Meaning you set the tone and temperature instead of just taking the temperature and checking in every once in a while. If I set the tone and lead by example...it goes well. For example: my four year old was about to go into full crying mode in the car because I didn't understand what he was saying. Instead of getting angry because he was raising his voice while crying I gently reminded him I can't figure it out until he talks more calmly. Then I said, "What do we do when we feel bad." His answer was he can get a hug and talk it out. So I reached back and held his hand for a minute and said, "let's talk."  Before a situation reaches the boiling point I say our code word.  Then I ask if he would like some personal

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:50 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • time in his room to relax. We also call this personal space. He can take his time and space any place he wants and any time he wants. This has been our way since he was two so often he is his own thermostat now and will tell us he needs some time and space to relax.  We also brainstorm together when an issue comes up.  It helps him to problem solve on his own.  Sometimes all that is nice but doesn't work.  I hate time out.  It always seems to escalate the frustrations.  So if it is too late - I hold and rock.  Empathize.  Doesn't mean I give in.  I also use creativity in the moment.  Once he peed a few times next to the toilet but not in it.  So I gave him a spray bottle and paper towels.  Never did it again.  I could have yelled but not the same effect.  So love, creativity, understanding, and self regulation.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:54 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Our son is 4, our daughter is 2, we've always spanked, but now that they're older we're transitioning to time out. We've used spanking until now because it is the simplest and easiest to understand for a small child-and it works. Now that they know we mean business when we say something we rarely have to spank and that's why we are switching to time out.
    foxy420_1

    Answer by foxy420_1 at 8:49 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • i have alot of ways for my daughter it just depends on what she did to get in trouble
    but room time, the chari when she was 1yr now she is 3 and i do ocasionally spank when nothing else seems to work, i usually count first,
    kyiahsmommy

    Answer by kyiahsmommy at 11:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Another thing that has worked for me since mine have been about 4ish, is if they are doing something innapropriate, i will tell them what and why it is, then tell them they "are making a choice. they have the choice to continue and there will be a consequence. or to make another choice that would be better". I feel this allows them to think about their behavior/actions. My aim is that they will ask themselves as they get older and make good choices.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 11:22 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I deal with issues as soon as they arise, and give my dd logical consequences. For example, if she throws her apple peels on the floor, she has to pick them up. If she doesn't want to listen to mommy while we're shopping, then she has to sit in the cart...stuff like that. I take into account her age (2.5 years old), and go from there. I rarely do time-outs, and I definitely don't spank.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

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