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Would you bail your 20yr old out of jail or let it be a lesson? adult content

Been, down a tough road with my daughter! Her choice of boyfriends leaves much to be desired. In the past they've had some domestic issues. Tonight she called and again there's been a fight she'll be arrested next week for her part in domestice violence earlier this evening. She while on the phone with me asked if I'd bail her out when it's time. I'm really kinda leaning towards not to make her stop and think is this the kind of life I want for me and my son(3yrs old). She would eventually be let out on her own recog.

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Asked by fullyloaded7 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • if you leave her in there she will probably resent least for now. When she grows older she will learn and will know it was for the best. Either way it isn't going to make her learn a lesson. If her boyfriend isn't in jail and they are going to stay together then he should be the one to bail her out.

    Answer by dbodani at 12:44 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I'd let her sit.
    She's 20, and it is my thinking that she needs to learn how to make better choices for herself in life.
    If you bailed her out, she'd learn that good ol' Mom will get her out.
    Hang in there. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you to be going through.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 12:45 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • we have a one time only get out of jail free rule in our house! so after the first time they have to call someone else! sorry about ur dd! good luck!

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 12:45 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I would bail my kids out one time, after that they would have to figure it out on their own. Everyone can make a mistake, but when you keep repeating them, you obviously didn't learn your lesson.

    (general you)

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:46 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • let it be a lesson... i'm sorry i love my son but if was to do something dumb enough to get himself in jail then guess what your staying the night and i really don't care how mad he may be... lesson learned

    Answer by Lynnsae at 12:49 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • My brother went through a streak of shop lifting and stealing from neighbors from age 18 to 20. He went to jail a few times. My parents bailed him out at first. By the third arrest, they left him in. This was December 22 too. They did not bail him out until December 27. My dad did not try to have a lawyer get him out of it again, and my brother was sentenced to a full month in the county jail too, which he served. They realized bailing him out did nothing. When he actually had to sit in the cell through Christmas, and actually serve a small sentence, he stopped breaking the law. He has held down a job, lived on his own, and been doing much better for about 3-4 years now. :)


    Answer by KairisMama at 12:50 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I wouldn't bail her out. I'd explain to her that she is an adult and only children get their problems fixed by their mothers. She makes adult decisions, she deals with adult consequences. maybe next time she won't let her temper get the best of her or stay in a situation that isn't good for her.

    Answer by Kayere at 12:51 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • no,let her learn her lesson.

    Answer by dancer at 12:52 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Id leave her so she knows there are consequences for her actions. Tough love.


    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 1:03 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • id leave her sitting in jail she will get released with in a day or two regardless. It may be just what she needs to relize this guy is a looser and she needs to make better choices with her life. My husband befor we were married was quite alittle trouble maker and went to jail twice for being stupid while drunk his parents bailed him out both times and he learned nothing he then went to jail for a DUI while his parents where down in mexico he had to sit there for 3days i refused to bail him out which made him mad but in the end he learned a lesson and relized he was on the wrong path. He is now a wounderfull husband a great father and a hard working man with a great job. Sometimes they have to learn things on there own.

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 1:30 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

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