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3 Bumps

should i back off from him?

Me and my BF have been together for about 5 months. We live apart and I have a 3 year old daughter. Sometimes I feel like he wants to stay at the same level that we're at right now. We love each other and say I love you. I usually go to his apartment one night out of the week and one night out of the weekend. I'm ready for us to move in together and be serious. He says he can see us "living together at somepoint in the future". But I saw a question on here kind of related to this and some of the answers got me thinking. Does he not want to make that kind of commitment right now because he's getting everything he needs without us living together. He's getting my love, attention, sex and companionship. Am I moving too fast? I feel like he is "the one". Should I just back off (not text and go over so much) and see what happens? Feeling kind of confused about this situation. He's pretty good with my daughter and we all go and do stuff together on the weekend. He doesn't have any kids and has never been married. Pretty much a quiet and simple man. He's a nerd lol. He's great though.

 
iluvmybabe

Asked by iluvmybabe at 8:31 AM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,229 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I think you need to give the relationship time. 5 months is not very long to get to know someone, and with a child involved you want to make sure that there is a good foundation to the relationship before making it serious (like living together). I would say keep on as you are now, go out on dates, do things together and take the time to really get to know each other. Then once you have been together a while and know deep down that this is the person you like, respect, love and want to be with THEN think about living together.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:36 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • It's way too soon if you have only been together 5 months.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 8:33 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Yes, you are moving too fast. 5 months is not long enough at all to know the answer to all these things and to know if he is "the one". Take your time. There is no need to rush things. Do not move in together now. Your daughter needs a stable home environment and should not be subject to you moving somewhere that might not be the right choice. Her needs are the most important thing right now. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:43 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • you said it your self he has been by himself and it's only been 5 months ,to make relation work you have give it time
    if your still with him in yr then go for it ,but now just go slow ,
    my mom said this to my sister once if you give the milk for free why buy the cow
    just take it slow
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 8:58 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Five months is nothing in comparison to a lifetime, you know? Relax, see where the relationship goes.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:10 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I agree, five months is very quick to be thinking about moving in. And, yes, there are people I'm sure on here who moved in after less time and they are living a fairytale, but that's probably the exception, not the rule. Right now enjoy the good times that you are having, no pressure on anybody. Give your daughter the stability that you provide in your own home with her. If the relationship is a good one, it will stand the test of time and things will move at the appropriate pace naturally.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • How can you have a 3 yr old if you have only been together for 5 months? I think you are moving to fast if thats the case. Had you been together 3 yrs I might say differently but it doesn't sound that way. People are always in such of a hurry. You have a lifetime and you should just enjoy what you have now. If you keep pushing him you may push him away
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:16 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • i agree with what ya'll are saying and i have decided to slow it down. my problem is relaxing about it. i am an impatient person to begin with, thats the problem i have . i just need to think of the long term goal and focus of nurturing the relationship and letting it grow into something beautiful.
    iluvmybabe

    Comment by iluvmybabe (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Jan. 8, 2011