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I'm losing him

We've worked so hard, and we're so good together. I love him with everything I have to give, and I know he'll never love me the same. I'm ok with that, but it just hurts sooo bad.

Last night I lost it, and I yelled at him for the first time. He went out, and never came home. He said we would talk today... I feel so sick, I'm so afraid because I know I already lost everything we've worked so hard for.

I didn't sleep at all last night, just laid on his pillow and cried. Its the last time I'll be sleeping in our bed... his bed.
I'm not a suicidal person, but I can understand why someone would want to die, when it hurts so badly that they can't even breathe.

How can I even begin to deal with this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • If you yelled at him for the first time and he left to never come home, there is more going on here than this one argument. I'd guess that you've been losing him for awhile now. I'm sorry, I know you're hurting, but people who are committed to a relationship don't do that over one argument.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:12 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. With no other information I can't really comment on specifics. It sounds like you may be very clingy and that could be hurting your relationship. I hope you get to talk to him and that you can work things out. Unfortunately you can't make someone love you. If it happens you will survive. You just have to move on one day at a time. It does get easier. Good Luck

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:12 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Realize that if it's this much work to keep the both of you two together, maybe it's just not worth it. Allow yourself to be upset, sad and then pick yourself up by the bootstraps and figure out how you want to spend the rest of your life.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:13 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • it will take time. if you are not meant to be with each other in time you will learn to accept it. i remember times i couldnt breathe when i thought of him. it does get better with time. get yourself a hobby, a small group of close friends, something to help you heal! i agree if this was the first time you yelled at him and he left, there is an underlying problem. sometimes ppl are hiding something. im sorry you have to go thru this. but whether it is a broken relationship or a death of a loved one, it all takes time. best wishes love!

    Answer by JOR_HAIL at 9:18 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Fights happen and if you can't work through this one then it really wasn't meant to be.

    Answer by Misteh at 9:22 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • one day at time ,so you had fight we all have them but you need take a shower i know it sounds weird but it will refresh you
    then make cup coffee ,sit take pen and paper in hand write down what you want in this relationship
    you don't say how long you have been together but you if your give all the time and he is taken then i would not want to be in it
    relationship is like a marriage you need to work together as team ,and if he is not in for long haul it is time to move on
    and yes it will hurt but some where out there is man who wants what you want ,love you for who you are willing to move mountains to be with you,and should have to work to make it work love just grows

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 9:23 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I can really feel your pain. I know when my ex left after 20 yrs I felt a lot like that and I am not a very clingy person. I wanted to die for sure. I would say there is a lot more going on in your relationship then just being yelled at.
    You do get over it but it takes a lot of soul searching and some counseling on your part to get you through all of this. You need to be strong for yourself and your kid(s)
    Start by doing something for your self a manicure, hobby, volunteering and make yourself busy. I wish you luck and know that other people have been where you are now. Hugs is all I can give.

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 9:26 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • It was the first time I yelled, it wasn't the first argument we've had. There are so many external stresses and problems, and we've made life good in spite of it all... I can't believe I blew it.

    I love him so much. I've never been in love with anyone else... I don't want anyone else. I just wish he would come home and talk to me. He spent the night with someone he works with, I'm not worried about him doing anything, its not like that. Its too complicated to begin to explain. I haven't slept, and I can't even think straight. I just want him home, and things how they were.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • i think it is okay sometimes to scream,if my husband would not tolerant ,who will? so i think its a normal human behavior reaction, and it shouldn't be all the time sceaming and yelling.but when u talk to him today ,tell him that u were in stress alittle and u love him . tell him ur true feelingssss i wish u more than luck

    Answer by mamishad at 9:36 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • You need to stand up for yourself. Who gives a flying crap if you screamed at him! Screw him. Its your right to scream at him if he is being an ass. Girl if he wants you, then he needs to fight for you. If he doesnt, then stop wasting your time. There are far better men out there that would love to have you. You shouldnt ever feel this way. You deserve better for yourself. I know it hurts, but it will go away when you realize you are better off.

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 9:43 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

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