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Sleepover Question

When your child has a friend over for a sleepover, or I guess even a playdate, are your kids generally just giant tornado mess makers? My son had a sleepover this weekend and the messes were beyond ridiculous. I kept telling my son to clean up this, clean up that, until finally I pulled him into the other room and just asked him why he felt the need to be so disrespectful to me and to our house by letting things get so out of control, and to please clean up. He did immediately after. I was just frustrated beyond belief. At the same time, I want him to have some fun with his friend and don't want to have it become just me harping on him left and right.

So for sleepovers and playdates, are you easier on them with cleaning up things? Do you let things slide a little? Or are rules rules and you stick to them no matter what? Also, do you insist that the friend pick up as well, or do you treat them as if they are a guest and are to be treated slightly differently?


Asked by amybaby_19 at 10:45 AM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (11)
  • I think it would be a good idea to get them all together and sit them down on the dinning table before hand. To set some house rules, this way everyone knows what is expected of them as well as your son not being placed as a police force with his peers. And that you’ll be monitoring them throughout.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 11:10 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I agree! things can get really messy but for the most part I do ask tht it gets cleaned before everyone leaves

    Answer by rebeccadac at 10:50 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Things do get a bit messier here too. It's like they want to get out everything at once. I just ask for a walking path & have them both clean up before the friend goes home.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:47 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Great question!

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:47 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • The rules are the rules for a reason, and that reason doesn't disappear when they have friends over. If they can't follow the rules when friends are over, then we can certainly cease to have sleepovers until that changes. And all visiting children are treated as my own, with the same expectations.

    Answer by justnancyb at 10:56 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Everyone should help clean. Guest or not, if they helped make the mess they can clean. HOWEVER, the area they play in should be clean before the guest gets there

    Answer by JLS2388 at 12:28 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • More kids = bigger messes. I have 5 kids to begin with so our house always looks like a tornado hit. I could clean every second of the day and it would still be a mess because one kid or another would pull something out after I put it up. Add friends to the mix...ugh. My 9yo son had 2 friends over last weekend and in the 30 minutes they were here they, my son and 3 daughters (so 6 kids between 4 and 10) destroyed the living room. They started wrestling, had all the pillows/throws/cushions all over, knocked stuff over, etc.
    When my girls have their friends over they get every single Barbie out and you can't see the floor in their room. I don't harp but my kids know if they don't have their friends help before they leave then they are stuck cleaning up the mess by themselves, and if they don' more friends over.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:39 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I treat them the same as my own.

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 10:50 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • My kids have done this too
    But my husband showed me how to intervene and ask them to clean up after themselves. I sat them all down and said I understand they are excited to be having a sleepover, I like that they are having fun but if everyone can not behave and keep my house clean and pick up after themselves when they are finished playing with something like they would at home or at school then I may have to take the friend home or they may not be able to come over again. We also most ly now instead of waiting until it happens, set the ground rules right when they get there and it helps. I goal is not to loose control and start screaming...I will do it nicely so everyone continues to have a good time. When I include the guest in the sit down conversation I see that it makes everyone feel at home and they seem to respond as if they feel safe and comfortable. I will take the child home if it is out of control.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 11:20 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • My daughter is 13 now, but when she was 10 or 11 her friends had no respect for our home. I began casually telling her friends when I gave them snacks or drinks to please make sure wrappers, cans or water bottles are put in the trash or recycling. That helped a little. I do hold my daughter responsible when her friends trash our house she must clean up. Would your child want to clean up after your friends?

    Answer by jcm62497 at 2:46 PM on Jan. 8, 2011