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have you lost a parent...if so

which one and how do u deal with it. I lost my mom sept 5 2009. i remember the phone call like it was yesterday. my mom lived in florida and i lived in Pennsylvania. it was a saturday and i had talked to her thursday. blood clot in head is why she passed. i think about her everyday and some days its really hard and i just randomly cry. i havent been good at feelings so i dont really know how to deal with them. what do u do?

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devonsmama1

Asked by devonsmama1 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Sorry for your loss.I lost my mother not to long ago from a brain aneurysm. I remember coming home from church & helping her with the cooking she left to go to the bathroom & it was taking her longer than usual,the food started burning so i knocked on the bathroom door & got no answer just then my dad walked in & opened the bathroom door and she was laying on the floor still alive but unable to move or speak....ill never forget that frightened look upon her face. An ambulance rushed her to a hospital they did 3 surgeries in her head & we started to think she was going to make it. I remember visiting her in her room holding her hand singing amazing grace she looked at me for a minute & tears were rolling down her eyes then she passed right in front of me. It is still hard on me & i too break down & cry but i try to keep her spirit alive as much as i can.

    iluvmykidsxoxo

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 11:49 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • im also sorry for your loss.
    devonsmama1

    Comment by devonsmama1 (original poster) at 11:51 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • It takes time, length varies widely with each individual. I have lost both parents--mother at 62 of brain aneurysm and father at 74 of a stroke. You will always miss her but over time the good memories will fill part of the void. When my father died, mention was made of the tragedy of his death, but I preferred to concentrate of the 74 years healthy years he had had and the good points of his life. When you have those moments, start thinking of the good life she had and the good qualities you remember, tell yourself stories about things you did together, etc. I think a sudden loss, like your mother's, is a bit harder to adjust. My mother was sudden whereas my father was around several months after his stroke. You WILL adjust although you will always miss her.
    mikesmom65270

    Answer by mikesmom65270 at 12:01 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away in March 2009. I am just now able to rejoice in the fun she brought to my life instead of dwelling on the sadness of not having her "with me". I took care of her during the last week of her life and it provided some of the most precious memories I will ever have. I still have days of sadness and cry, but the happy memories are starting to take a bigger presence in my mind. I can freely talk about her without crying and remember all the sweet things about her that made me love her so. Private message me any time if you want to "chat".
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 12:01 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • hugsI have lost both parents and both were a shock. My dad had a heart attack in his sleep. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. We figured she had years and nope, she died a couple of weeks after diagnosis. It took me a few years to be able to talk about it and not break down. It just takes time.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • hugsI have not lost any of my parents as of yet but my dad is 70 & in bad health so it could be any time. We have however lost myhusbands Mom 4 yrs ago his step dad 2 yrs ago and his brother 1 yr ago and his real dad this summer. With his mom I still want to say let's call and talk to your Mom and I still to this day remember driving up to see them they lived about 900 miles away and she would be standing outside waiting for us to come and when we left at 5 AM she would be standing at the door in her bathrobe waving goodbye. Now, I am crying again. It's perfectly normalto miss them and remember lots about them. Hugs to you for having such a great heart!

    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:41 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I worry about the death of my mom. She had me older, when she was 45. She is 75 now & i often think of what i am going to do when that dreadful day comes. I try to just enjoy her as much as i can now, but it's hard when you live 1000 miles away. She won't move here from Boston & I'm legally bound to Atlanta because of my DD. I just want to take care of her, I hope she lives to be real old.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:46 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I lost my mom this July 26, 2010. My mom had triple bypass surgery in December 2008, and went downhill after that. She got the MRSA staff infection twice. Was in and out of the hospital and nursing homes for months. We watched her go from strong and independent to weak and so much more. Shortly before she died, she didn't know anything. She kept saying that her mom and dad would let her come home. I think she realized she was dying. She was young, only 56, and I miss her greatly. I'm not sure when the pain will subside, but I know I will never stop missing her.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:53 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I lost my dad November 2008 and miss him terribly, especially right now. I talk to friends when I'm really down, look at pictures and tell my son about him. I also try to remember that he went in peace. He had a heart condition and could of been stuck in a hospital. Instead he spent his last weekend on this earth doing what he loved.
    sandbuster

    Answer by sandbuster at 3:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I lost my father almost 3 years ago.  This helped me.  I'm sorry for your loss.


    http://www.cancersurvivors.org/Coping/end%20term/stages.htm

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 4:50 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

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