I have a 5 year old dd. Her father and I are not together. I am maried and he lives with his girlfriend. Our custody arrangment is that he gets her every other saturday (that is all he wanted). He makes a 6 figure income and he spoils his live in girlfriends children. The live with them most of the time they are 8 and 12. He has a 6 bedroom house, each of the boys have their own room and a video game/tv room that they share. Meanwhile, my dd sleeps in the guest bedroom. Now, yes I understand that she sleeps there maybe 1 time a month (she doesn't always spend the night when she goes over there because a lot of the times they go out so she comes home instead of being watche by a babysitter) but these boys aren't even his children and they have 3 rooms between the 2 of them and my dd doesn 't even have 1 (to play in and keep her things in when she is there). She doesn 't really have anything of her own there and if she wants to watch a DVD, his girlfriend makes her go ask the boys (she says they are their's but HER dad bought them). She hates going over there, for obvious reasons and I really can't blame her. At home, she has her own bedroom and plenty of things (we dont' have as much money as my ex does, but we do ok and she has everything she needs and some of what she wants) I have talked to my ex about it and he says it doesn't make sense to give her her own room when she is only there 2 times a month. Normally, I would agree on that point but if he can find 3 bedrooms for 2 children who aren't even his, surely he can find 1 for his only child (he can't have anymore children so she is it, and he has a record that will prevent him from ever adopting) Anyway my dd gets so upset at the unfairness I don't know what to do. They took everyone shopping last sat and my dd said the boys got so much more then she did. When she asked her dad's girlfriend why, she said it is your mother's job to buy you clothes, not mine, she gets child support. I called and the girlfriend picked up and I reminded her that it's HER job to buy her kids clothes, not my dd's father.
Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2011 in General Parenting
Answer by ohwrite at 7:11 PM on Jan. 8, 2011
Answer by Jademom07 at 7:02 PM on Jan. 8, 2011
Answer by admckenzie at 7:19 PM on Jan. 8, 2011
Answer by LindaClement at 7:04 PM on Jan. 8, 2011
Answer by ohwrite at 7:12 PM on Jan. 8, 2011
Answer by sexyfancyface at 7:05 PM on Jan. 8, 2011
Answer by rkoloms at 9:08 AM on Jan. 9, 2011
I would be really happy he doesn't want to spend more time with my daughter if he is that much a backbone-less jerk. If he favours the boys over his own daughter you can't really do anything. I agree with those who wouldn't let her stay overnight because the safety is the biggest thing. And if the boys start to take advantage of her because they know she is nothing there or second line of the family than anything can happened. I would tell to my daughter that don't bother what they got and what she got. I would tell her that there are things you can't pay for. I would ask her how she felt when she was there and tell to her that probably that family feels the same every day. So she can be happy that she is lovely and clever and she is my daughter. And I will be there anytime she needs me. Be happy you are not in a dirty custody fight. I know it is not a big happiness but always look on the bright side of life:P Hugs...
Answer by adriennfaklya at 1:10 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
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