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Do I go back and re address this with him? adult content

So my 10 year old recently asked a family friend who is 21 if "girls sometimes put boys balls in their mouth" He said he had heard it at school. She said the question really threw her off and she told him "that's silly" I want him to have correct information, he knows about sex and what happens and how it happens, etc. I have always told him he could ask me anything (his dad and I are divorced - his dad would be livid at even being asked something like that). I am glad to know that at least he has someone he feels comfortable talking with to ask. I know at some point I probably need to address it and let him know that it's not bad, not "dirty" etc and that it is something that people sometimes do; but do I need to address it at 10 years old, or just let it be for now?

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Asked by missanc at 8:08 PM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 43 (163,403 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would address it like: "That is a good question for mom and dad not anyone else. Yes sometimes that happens, it is something that some people do. DO you have any other questions?"

    Answer by dancinintherain at 8:10 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I would let it be, he will figure it out....

    Answer by older at 8:11 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I would just let it be.

    Answer by Melbornj at 8:12 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • My feeling has always been when they start asking questions, its always a good time to talk to them...You dont want him to get the "wrong" information from his friends....Remember the silly things "our" friends use to tell us....Good luck...I have a 10 year old too who is starting to ask

    Answer by sam223 at 8:12 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I would let it go for now.. If he knows about sex, safe sex etc and you have spoken to him about it several times I wouldn't worry to much about the details of sexual acts. He will figure it out later.. Not sure what your views are on sex, but if he knows about respect, no means no, safe sex, etc.. He has a good foundation started.. Now if he asks again, I would be honest and say that sometimes people do different things but I wouldn't bring it up out of the blue. He might have felt more comfortable talking to the other person for this question lol...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:14 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I feel your pain- my 8 y/o dau has heard more at school than I'd care to deal w/ at this young/innocent age. I'm torn on this one too, b/c if you talk to him about it, then the 21 y/o family member he turned to for advice, will have broken a confidence. Most boys dont want to talk about sex w/ their moms. Since he knows he cant turn to his dad, he picked someone who is a bit closer to his age, & not a parent. I'd just talk to the 21 y/o about some possible limits on this subject. A lot of parents have to keep up w/ their kids by monitoring face book & their phones. You do what you have to do. Good luck

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:17 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Maybe you could tell the 21 what you want the answer to be.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 8:19 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I did talk to our 21 yo friend about it. I have no problems with my son talking to her about sex stuff, because I trust her judgement in most matters - she's extremely mature for 21! And I can't imagine asking my mom questions like that. She came to me about it because she wasn't sure exactly what information I wanted him to have, but she knew what I had already told him - I'm 37 so I use her a lot as a "barometer" for where/what young people are into these days since she's a lot closer than I am.
    Thanks for the answers!

    Comment by missanc (original poster) at 8:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I think you need to address this asap, you need to know where he is at and he needs to know that you are ok with his curiosity. Tell him the truth when he asks questions be very open with him. You can't tell him enough, kids at that age are starting to explore with sex, they need to know the right things.

    Answer by QandA at 8:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I remember when I was 13, I asked my mother what "Intercourse" was, or meant. She told me: "Alice, that is something that happens between married adults,and they don't even talk about it with each other." End of discussion! Really! So I went out and found out for myself what it meant, and I found out that I loved it, and when she told me at 18 that sex was only the woman's job to satisfy her husband, that ladies didn't enjoy it, or want it, but did it anyway-for the husband's sake...I called bullshit! And told her she needed to learn the art of masturbation. She freaked out!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 9:11 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

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