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how would you feel?

My brother and his wife adopted a brother and sister last year. The girl is turning three this year a month after my son turns three and the boy will be turning two near the end of the year. I'm so happy for my brother and i'm really happy to be an aunt again. Both kids know me as their aunt. The oldest calls me auntie. Well i was telling one of my friends a funny story about my niece and my friend looked at me and said because my niece is adopted i'm not her aunt and i never will be. I told my friend that i understand my niece and nephew have a biological family but they never knew their family and no matter what happen they will always be my niece and nephew i love them just as much as i love my biological nieces. but it really bothered me that my friend told me that i wasn't their aunt because they were adopted.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • Even if your friend does have some personal reason for feeling that way, I think it was insensitive for her to say that. I might ask her later if she thinks the kids do not deserve to have people they can call family. Yes, they have biological family, but that family is not a part of their lives at this time. You are their family in a very real sense. I would be careful not to let her say things like that in front of the kids. She needs to be gently corrected and asked to be sensitive about how her words might make the kids feel.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:24 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • That wasn't a very enlightened thing to say! It sounds to me like she has something personal going on that causes her to feel this way. I would address this with her if you value the friendship.

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I was adopted as a baby, these kids may never know the biological bloodlines. They are your family in every sense of the word. Thank you for loving them!

    Answer by Noosa at 10:00 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I would be offended. No doubt. You are just as much their aunt as their bio ones, if not more now. Please consider revisiting this topic with your friend so she won't be so misinformed in the future! In the meantime, congrats on the expanded family, Auntie.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 9:55 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • she's not really your friend.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 9:56 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I'd be offended. You will be your niece and nephews aunt for their whole lives, in the ways that count. She had no right to say that.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 10:10 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Your friend is an ass.

    Answer by lilsweetpea708 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I'm speechless-well almost. You are their aunt, just as your brother and his wife are their parents. Whether you want to keep the friendship with her is up to you but you need to make it clear to her that she can never say something like that to or around those children. I'm adopted and I can imagine that as a child if someone told me my family was not really my family because I was adopted I would have been very upset and hurt.

    Answer by confused969 at 6:11 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • That's outrageous. You are her Aunt because your sister adopted her and you always will be. Some people are so bloody ignorant.


    Answer by onethentwins at 1:34 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • take no notice, im sorry there are people out there like this!

    Answer by san78 at 3:10 PM on Jan. 10, 2011