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3 Bumps

How do you tell the man you married

that you no longer love him?
Would you tell him. I can live with him, he is a great friend to me, but I prefer not to, but do I break up my family because I no longer feel the same way I once did for hom? He is a great man, a great father, just not the man I fell in love with..Would you tell him?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I wouldn't have a single shred of doubt in my mind that he DESERVES to know. No person deserves to live with someone that doesn't feel the same way about them. To be lead on, to be lied to on a daily basis just by not being told "I don't love you anymore". He needs to know how you feel and you two need to figure it out from there. Take a step back and look at it from his stand point. He doesn't love you, but he continues to live a lie just because you're a great person and a great mother. Don't you see yourself being devistated, cheated, jipped, and just all around angry if you found out he's been lying to you about how he feels? Living a lie just because you're a good person .. Come on, he deserves to know. Because you two need to find people who are going to feel the same way about you that you do about them. If it isn't together then you shouldn't be together.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:53 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Are you sure you don't love him? Relationships & marriage are complicated, and we all have moments in our marriage that we question ourselves if love is still in the air. Before you mention this, make a list of changes that have happened that make you question your love for him. A good man is very hard to find and it takes alot of work to keep your marriage together, do some soul searching and communicate with him. I've been married 27yrs and I've had moments of doubt too, but he was worth working through our problems and finding love again.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • You need to be true to yourself. If this is what you want then you need to do it. Its not fair to him to keep this from him as its not fair to you to live a lie. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:24 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I think you both need to seek counseling. A successful marriage is not based on feelings, as they change from time to time. Every relationship needs to be nurtured to thrive. He may be feeling the same thing! How would you feel if he came to you and said, "I just don't feel like I love you anymore?" It would be devastating to you! Just like someone else mentioned, "a good man is hard to find, so if you have one, don't let him go"! Plan things to do together and spark the romance that you once had. Do fun things together, just the two of you, if possible. The best gift a man can give his kids is to love their mother and if your husband loves you, then do your part by seeking help for having your needs met, too! Not all men are lovey-dovey, but if you can somehow convey your needs to your husband, hopefully he will find a way to provide that need for you. After all, he IS the one you should come to! Best wishes!

    Answer by etexmom at 1:16 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I think at some point to be fair to both of you you'll need to tell him. How long can you stay w/a man you don't love? It will eventually flow over into the family life if your unhappy and I'm sure your S/O must have some idea things aren't right. If you truly do not love him, and do not want to spend the rest of your life with him, it's only fair to all of you that you sit down and talk with him and let him know how you feel. If there is something he can change, or if not so be it. Good luck I'm sure it's not an easy decision, esp. w/children involved.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • WHEN you sit down and talk with him and explain what you feel. Make sure that you let him know what you want in your marriage. He may not realize that what is missing. This is not to say that this is going to fix it all and you will live happy ever after. However, everyone deserves a chance. If you are wanting the marriage to work, then work on it. If you are willing to let it go, then be kind to him as you do it. Children should not be the reason for a marriage to stay or split. Don't let this be about your son. This is about you and your husband, as it should be.

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 1:15 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Yes maybe you can both work on it and find that spark again. He will never know anythings wrong unless you talk to him. Good luck!!

    Answer by aheuszel at 10:25 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Tell him.

    Answer by zebbiebug at 10:27 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I am going to feel horrible. Like the worst mother in the world for breaking apart our family. I always wanted my son to have a family, like he does now, because I never did. But I do not love his father. I know I should be true to myself, but I thought that maybe I could just deal with it a few more years... Until my son is older. He needs his father, like I needed my mother. He needs us both.. UUGGGGHHH

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:29 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • tell him for and he will be better off as will your kids...

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 10:30 PM on Jan. 8, 2011