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3 Bumps

Valentines Day

Ladies, I need your advice, please. The father of my kids and I are no longer together (seperated for a year now) We still talk, have relations, and hang out with one another, just not official. Well I still love him, and would love to work things out with him, he says he doesn't want to be with anyone right now, especially me, because he does not want to hurt me, until he's ready to settle down. I'm not sure if he's just saying this, or if he's true, but he's never said it before, until recently, when I finally got the ba**s to ask him why he wouldn't be with me. Anywho - my question is, should I ask him if he wants to spend Vday w/ me, (we've never spent one together btw) and if he accepts, should our kids come with us, or not?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Jan. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • it wouldnt hurt to ask and i dont think it would hurt to bring your kids into the mix, they are both of your kids right?? i think it would be great for everyone but just in case dont get your hopes for that in case it doesnt happen, but i will keep my fingers crossed for you there is nothing wrong with wanting to ask and wanting to spend the day with the father of your children, and i am sure your kids would be excited too, my parents are not together and i get so excited when they hang out or talk to each other, even though iknow they wont ever be together again its still nice to see ya know!! good luck and i hope you have a happy v day!!

    Answer by emleejanedom at 3:13 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • yeah you should ask him to see what he says but if he does say yes he wants to hang out on valentines day then dont bring the kids with you until you are for sure your going to be a couple good luck mama i hope it all works out mama

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:45 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Probably not. It would probably be a good idea to leave the kids out of it until you guys are serious.

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 10:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • no

    Answer by Imane1215 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • No. If a guy tells me he doesn't want to hurt me, I would definitely honor that, because chances are he would. Give him time and space to come around on his own and it will be worth it!

    Answer by Adelicious at 10:50 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • Adelicious - he comes around, all the time. We always hang out. I know he's not going to ask me, or anyone to that matter to hang out on VDay, so I'm wondering if I should ask him, don't think it would hurt anything, besides my pride if he denied it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:52 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I don't mean to sound mean, but I would be careful. It sounds to me like he is using you. I did the same type of thing and everyone kept telling me that he probably had the mentality of, "why buy the cow if the milk is free." I just don't want to hear about another man using a woman...grrr men...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Go ahead and ask. Let him know that it will only be the two of you and what you may be doing, ie. dinner out, dinner in, movie, etc. Just have fun with it! It doesn't have to even be in the evening. Make it a daytime date and really have a good time!

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 1:30 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • if you do ask him i would include the kids in it, after all valentines day is love day and you both love your kids!

    Answer by mom2eas at 3:09 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Thanks Ladies! I really need the luck and courage and everything else!!!! & yes, they're both our kids biologically. I hope it all works out for the best as well, either way I will have a good day, if he says no, which i think he will say yes, i will just spend it with my children.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:34 AM on Jan. 9, 2011