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Do you think you boyfriend my kids father should get some money??

Okay, I work full-time i have two beautiful boys that both attend either preschool or daycare. Their father stays with me, he doesnt work. But when he does get moeny he helps out the most he can. He also helps stay with the kids when i gotta work in the weekend. So everyone knows that tax season is coming. Well the conversation came up in our house and he said that i should give him some money, Because he helps out thru the year. What do you think? Should i give him some money or not? Just wondering?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 AM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (13)
  • Hell no. He is a freeloader. Move on. For the sake of the children and yourself, get rid of him. He is a low life.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:02 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • So i've been wanting to leave him but everytime i try to leave him. Now hes saying oh now that your getting money you wanna leave me. He makes me feel bad, i know hes playing the guilty card on me,
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:05 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • He tells me that he's entitled to some money bc he helps me and those are hes kids? That if i didnt have these kids i wouldnt get this money. I tell him the reason why i get this money is bc I bust my ass all year working cause if i didnt work regardless of the kids i wouldnt get money. I tell you money is the root to all evil.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:08 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • You are allowing him to play the guilt trip. He knows how to work you and you have to stop allowing it.
    Reach inside and find your strength. You have not said why he is not working.
    How long has he been without a job?
    Who pays the rent, utilities, groceries, daycare and so on. He is getting to benefit from all those allready.
    Kick him out and tell him to not come back until he can be a supporting member of the household.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:18 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Sorry ladies, I feel the need to play devil's advocate on this one. He's helping w/ the kids, he's their father, I see no difference from what he's doing that a SAHM does. Why is there such a stigma attached to dads who stay home? It's actually becomming more common lately, thanks to the economy. (And those little tax deductions are 1/2 his. I'm not saying equally divide, but you are supposed to be partners. You are living together as a family. Maybe apply the money toward something family oriented, - Assuming you dont need it for bills like most of us :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:31 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • If you were married, I would say that the money belongs to both of you.
    Since you are not married, the two of you need to set rules for your relationship; it would help to have a neutral third party, like a couples counselor or clergy person
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:40 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I agree that he's playing the same role as a SAHM and you should share your money. This is a separate issue from you wanting him to leave. If you want out of the relationship, then you need to establish that. But he is caring for the kids so that you can work and he takes care of things at home, so you need to give him some of the money. When he's gone, you'll be paying a babysitter.....maybe you should be paying him.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 8:59 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I, also agree he is playing the role of a SAHM, BUT you two are NOT married. I don't think you HAVE to share any of your money that you have worked hard to earn. In all honesty,.....you provide a roof over his head, meals for him to eat, a bed to sleep in, hot water to take a shower, along w/ all necessities (soap, shampoo, cable, internet?, etc etc etc) I say do what you feel is right, and I don't think you're making a bad choice by letting him stay with you, i'm sure you still love that man, I would do the same thing, if you want him to stay, he should be busting his you-know-what to find a job though. Goodluck to you
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 9:50 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • He does watch the kids but it's in the weekend, during the week they go to daycare. HE does help me, as much as he can. He gives me money when he can, he cooks, washes clothes, cleans, so i guess him not working evens out with all the things he does. I mean hes not a bad person but i dont want to be a sucker either, that why i asked for some advice from the LADIES.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:52 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • See thats the thing I do Love him, but hes not making an effort to find a job, he says that its hard to find one. But truthfully i don see him looking. So right if i choose not to give him money i know were gonna argue about the fact and hes gonna be mad. I know it, bc i dont even have the money yet and he arguing and making it know that he wants some of the money. Ughhh! I hate this
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:55 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

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