Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What actions would you take?

I am staying at a neighbors house for the night bc my s/o left last night without saying a word to me about leaving for hours. I tried calling a place that he usually goes to, but he was not there. I saw him later on in the evening walking up the street from the opposite direction of where he usually goes to. I didn't want to fight all night about why he left without telling me where he was going, so I have the 4 month baby and my five year old over here at the neighbors house. Her husband is out of town for a couple of weeks, so she said I could spend the night and let him have his space. I have a decision to make today. We fight about everything it seems like and I have moved here from a different state, I also have family here. Will I stay or will I go? I have a car, but we put it in his name for insurance purposes, I don't know if he will let me leave with it? I had bought the car last year. I love him and think that he wants me to leave? My s/o said that I should call my parents and tell them that I am coming home and I told him no. I don't want to go back there. My s/o owns his house and if he says that I have to leave, I can't afford to live on my own. The shelters do not have any beds open. What should I do?

Answer Question
 
sexyfancyface

Asked by sexyfancyface at 10:02 AM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (8,147 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Go home to your parents for the time being. You can regroup and get money for your own place.

    He tells you that you can't make it on your own because he is controlling you. Take him to court for child support. He has to pay that.

    constant arguing isn't good for you and it sets a poor example of what a relationship should be to your children.. Show them that mommy deserves better.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I don't want child support, we are not married, my dd's have my last name.
    sexyfancyface

    Comment by sexyfancyface (original poster) at 10:13 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • If nothing is keeping you there, go back to your parents, finish your education and find a man who loves you like the air you breathe.
    cerealmom2

    Answer by cerealmom2 at 10:16 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • If I leave, I am not going to get into another relationship. I don't want another man in my life. If this relationship doesn't work out, I am throwing in the towel.
    sexyfancyface

    Comment by sexyfancyface (original poster) at 10:20 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Why don't you want child support? You don't feel that he is responsible for assisting in the financial aspect of raising your kids?

    Child support is not for you, it's for the kids and it doesn't matter if you are married or if they have someone else's last name...if they are his biological kids, he is responsible for helping to support them.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:22 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Only one of them is his and I don't want his help if we split up.
    sexyfancyface

    Comment by sexyfancyface (original poster) at 10:23 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Well I wish you luck but I think that you are naive about not requiring him to pay support. It's not him helping you...it's him doing what he is supposed to for his child.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:28 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I don't want financial help from him especially if he starts a new family with someone else. I don't want him to dread having a financial obligation to take care of a child that he may not see bc he will probably move on to another relationship, if they have kids then he can support them instead of paying child support on a daughter that he may not be able to see for whatever reasons. I think that if he would want to see her every now and then, that is good enough for me. I know that my s/o will take care of what she needs, he is a loving dad.
    sexyfancyface

    Comment by sexyfancyface (original poster) at 10:35 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • If your S/O doesn't want you there then you have no right to be there. You have no other option then to go to a family member's house. I know that you said that you don't want to go back to your parents house, but you're out of other options is seems like. Sometimes you have to suck up your pride and just pack it back home. If the situation at home was unliveable. (Violence or something of that nature) Then you need to ask a sibling or another relative if you can stay with them. Making excuses as to why you can't leave is going to hurt you and your kids in the long run. If you and your S/O don't get along, if you fight all the time, and if he wants you gone then you need to leave. It sounds to me as if you're making excuses, so you don't have to take that step. Well, suck it up, kiddo. He wants you out and you two aren't living happily anymore.. soo pack up and go.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:02 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • The child support is not for you, it's for the child. Don't be silly. It's not about YOU, it's not about HIM. Who cares how HE feels about it. It really doesn't even matter how you feel about it. That is his child, and he should help take care of that child financially. By law he is required to. So, because you are hurt, you won't go after him for it? You honestly think he will just offer you the support? And keep offering it, even if he does get into another relationship? He won't. He will drop it. Your child deserves better then that. It doesn't even matter if he sees her or not, no in the matter of CS. It would be great if he did, she does need her father, if he's a good father. But, to just give up CS because you are hurt? That's stupid and silly. You will regret it.
    What steps to take? Realize the things he's telling you are to hurt you. Try to get the car back in your name. And leave. File for CS. Move on. Good luck!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 2:40 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN