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Getting everyone to church when they REALLY don't want to go

I am on chemo, injections and suffer from really bad rheumatoid arthritis. Trust me, there are days when I REALLY don't want to go to church. Days it seems physically impossible. I truly feel like I need that spiritual food each time to get me through my week. I know my family does, too. When you don't want to go, that's when you really should. Why is it that I am the one pushing everyone, yet my husband (who insists everyone goes) just stays home because he doesn't feel like it? Then I have to deal with the kids wanting to stay because he does.

 
derosia_mama

Asked by derosia_mama at 11:37 AM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 16 (2,967 Credits)
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Answers (17)
  • this sounds more like an issue with control (dh) than whether you need/want/do go to church, for yourself or for your family. i'm with ya, in the inner-urge to go to church..i know what its like to feel like crap, physically or mentally, and you KNOW you need some worship time. i can't speak for your kids, or your maternal instincts..but i do know, as i've said before on CM, my child will go to church with me/dh when we go..until he is grown and out of the house. i am responsible for him, not just physically, but spiritually, too.
    but back to your dh..if he's not wanting to attend, that's his issue, and one you need to pray about. you cannot force a grown person to do what they don't want to do. knowing your physical issues, he is being selfish and stupid to insist you go, with all the kids, and he stay home, sans responsibility.
    next time it happens, you go, take the kids if you feel like it. but i'd leave them with him!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 3:17 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I woud jsut say-that if YOU feel as though you need to go, then get yourself up and go. If he is saying everyone needs to go then EVEYONE INCLUDING HIM should go. If it is a matter of him wanting all of you to go so he can have time to himself...then too bad for him. I would leave the kids and go alone in that case.

    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:45 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Then you just go and get what you feel you need. You are only responsible for you and your spiritual journey/path. They will find their own in their own time.

    Be Blessed.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 11:46 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I never thought it was fair to push religion on children. They grow up having an aversion to it. They have to come to it on their own.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:46 AM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I agree with the others. If you force kids to do something they don't want to, you guarantee that they will HATE that thing and be pushed away. Go by yourself. YOU are the one who needs the connection, not them. You are the one whose god deserts her once she is outside of the church doors. And you are more likely to get farther by setting an example--not a dictate!
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 12:24 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I truly feel like I need that spiritual food each time to get me through my week. I know my family does, too. [derosia]


    How do you KNOW your family feels the same way? You don't and you can't. Like I said before, YOU go if that is what YOU feel that YOU need.


    I do feel the need to ask, why is going to church the ONLY way you get that "spiritual food" you seem to be needing? 

    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 2:01 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I don't buy into the whole "I don't force my kids to do________" argument- most people force (or ask) their kids to do things everyday that are not a matter of life or death- have manners, call Grandma, go to school even if you are tired, not have a pet- these are all choices they can make when they get older- why is religion any different (depending on age)?
    I think since you have decided that Church is a benefit for your kids, you need to find out why they don't want to go and see if you can find a happy medium- if its too early-find a later service, if they find it irrelevant- look into a Church more in line with kids, if they hate to dress up-look for a more casual Church. As far as DH- I don't think its too much to ask for his support on this. Come together as a family and see how you can fit Church into your life. You could also consider Church at home- read, study, discuss and pray.
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 2:13 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I am sorry to hear about your health. It must be very tiresome for you physically and emotionally and now your efforts to have family worship are not receiving any support from your family. JMO- It would make me angry that my hubbs would insist on anything and not take an initiative and be a team player. I hope you can discuss it with him and maybe point out that he needs to compromise if it is something he wants. Spiritual food can bring you some ease and peace. GL mama.
    2tinyhineys

    Answer by 2tinyhineys at 3:30 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are going through all this. If your hubby is pushing for everybody to go, but wants to stay home himself, then too bad for him. He needs to go be part of the family. If it's good for everybody else, then its good for him. You don't just shove your family out the door for church, just for some alone time.
    asmcbride

    Answer by asmcbride at 1:21 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I am going to have to disagree with some things you said Shaneagle...

    The reason for a Pastor is to fed you spirtually too. That is why we have a pastor. There have been times where I have been too tired or whatever reason I use and did not go to church only to find that the message that day could have really helped me in what I was struggling in. God speaks to our Pastors. If our Pastor is listening, then he will always have a service that will speak to us in some way that will help us.

    I don't feel that feeling bad for missing church is condemnation, it is CONVICTION that you are missing Gods word, especially if you are missing church because of some reason where you could have made it to church.

    There has NEVER been a time where I didn't go to church an not get something out of the message, i fact, I get MORE out of the message on the days that I am weary, tired and would just rather be home.
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 6:10 PM on Jan. 9, 2011