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2 Bumps

are you a jealous person?

i am sooooo jealous! I HATE that i am! Last night dh and I had dinner at a greek restaurant, and a belly dancer came out. The mood changed drastically. I could feel my face getting hot, and I got pissed. I even gave the dancer a very dirty look when she danced near my husband. And it pissed me off even more when he would turn around to look at her. I WISH we could go places and have fun, I wish I wasnt so insecure. I tried telling dh Im jealous more now than ever bc my body isnt like it used to be. Im not that skinny anymore, i have a baby pooch, and stretch marks on my sides. This girls body was AMAZING! And seeing that he was turning his head to look at her, really made me feel uneasy. I got pissed, but I didnt treat him badly, I just got quiet, but I knew he knew that I was not happy. So he tried NOT to look. He said that he wishes we could go out and have fun. It was just for entertainment, and I was not really allowing us to have a good time.

After we ate dinner, we went to a store called Total Wine. These really cute young women were in there, (Im only 25 BTW, and my dh is 36) and they were dressed super sexy. I was dressed up, but not sexy like them. This teenie blonde girl (beautiful I might add- and HIS type) saw my husband and I, and stopped in her tracks and came and stood right next to him. He knew I felt uneasy bc I immediately got quiet, and he grabbed our cart and looked straight and darted out of the aisle. I felt ok bc he tried his hardest not to stare. BUT then we decided on a beverage, and the girls were in the next aisle over. He says "oh Im going to put this back in its right spot" and he begins to walk away. Im like "really? Why cant you put it here like you did the others?" he turns around and comes back towards me. I head towards the bathroom, and just stare at myself in the mirror and try to compose myself and shake off the jealousy. I go back out there, and he grabs me and hugs me. This may all seem childish to some, but thats why Im seeking help. I dont get upset ALL the time, its just SOMETIMES.

Im NOT an ugly girl at all. I get told almost everyday that Im beautiful, but I just wish I could see what everyone else see's.

I HATE how jealous and insecure I am. My husband has done nothing to make me feel as though he would cheat. if i dont get my jealousy in check, I fear I will push him to cheat on me. or he will get tired and leave me. What can I do to NOT be so jealous? Im trying, I really am trying to change, but its hard....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • First off stay away from places that do belly dances. That's asking for trouble and I think it was rude he turned to look at her. He could have handled the liquor store situation better too. I think he needs to work harder on this. I'd have been pissed if my man did either thing your man did. It's not jealousy as much as it was just rude of him. He should have ignored those young girls.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:17 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I used to be jealous in my 20s too. I will be 40 this year and now I am much more chill. I came to realize that you cannot control the actions of anyone but yourself. No one. Not even your husband. You can tell him how you feel about things, but it might not change how he is. He is a man and men look at other women, it is only when they act on it we have cause to be concerned. I am divorced and my ex husband did cheat on me. I wasnt as jealous at that time either and just threw him out of the house. Problem solved. Now I am remarried and for the most part dont get jealous anymore. I will say though now other things annoy the crap out of me. I just think we evolve over time and you will be alright.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:21 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Yes and I would stay away from anything that made me jealous
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:31 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Your husband loves you for more than the packaging you come in. You need to focus more on what those inner qualities are and start valuing and focusing on them also. It's fine to be pretty but it's only part of the equation. Who cares what someone else looks like? They aren't you. They don't possess the same qualities that you do.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 12:32 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • over somethings i will but i dont let it get carried away i know where my man lays his body at nite and thats all that matters to me
    devonsmama1

    Answer by devonsmama1 at 12:33 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I didnt even know the restaurant had belly dancers!! :(
    @ Syphon. Thanks. That is very true. He says he loves me bc Im funny, sweet, caring, soft spoken, and his best friend. Those things mean alot to me. And I will DEF try and focus more on that than anything...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Just remember who HE married....
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:36 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I have my rare weak moments, but I don't consider myself a jealous person because of those moments. If I had more than rare moments, then I would. lol. I am more insecure than anything. Hey - at least I can admit it. =P
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 12:43 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

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