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2 Bumps

Can anyone help me with my problem?

i am a lesbian and a mother fighting for custody of my daughter. at the last court date the judge said that i cannot live with my girlfriend and have custody of galen because we are not married. we plan to go to iowa to get married but we don't know if the court system in oklahoma will accept it. my lawyer isn't helping and i can't afford a new one. plz someone give me some advice on how to fight this issue and get my daughter back without having to choose between the two ppl that make me happy in this world.


Asked by metalmommy2006 at 1:34 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (274 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i have no idea. seems logical that if you cannot get married in your state, it will not recognize a marriage from another. (which sux, by the way!) good luck! BTW, if your GF does not receive mail at your residence, TECHNICALLY she does not live there! :)

    Answer by itzmyzoo at 1:37 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Wow...I am so sorry you are dealing with this...I don't really know what to tell you but, maybe try calling an organization like the HRC and see if they have any resources to help you out!


    Answer by momofone072506 at 1:40 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • There are many gay supporting groups in every state. There are many attorneys on this page. It worths to call them up and ask what can you do:) I hope you will find a solution for your problem:) Hugs:)


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 1:41 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • That is ridiculous, since when do you have to be married to get custody of your child. Is there any way you can file a complaint against the judge? If your lawyer is helping I'd get rid of him. Good luck!!!


    Answer by skittles1108 at 1:43 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I know someone who got divorced when her husband came out to her as gay. She had her attorney put a stipulation in the custody agreement that there could be no overnight guests that are not married to the parent when the child is staying there. So basically because he is gay and can not get married in this state he could never have a man over to spend the night when he had his child. Sounds like you are in the same boat and I don't know that there is much you can do about it. I would check with your attorney because if the Iowa marriage isn't recognized then that doesn't help you either. I would try to contact an advocacy group for gay rights to get some help or advice. I'm sorry you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, but if it comes down to it I recommend you choose your child and hope your girlfriend will be ok not living with you until you work something out. Your child only has one mother. Good luck.

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:09 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • You can go to the court and request a court appointed lawyer. They are free and will help you with your case.
    The court will accept any marriage license as long as it is legal in the state the you recieved it.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:33 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • You had better hurry to Iowa. We got a jackass in office that is anti-gay marriage and the judges were voted out. It's just a matter of time that Iowa has nothing good to offer. Sorry, I don't have advice beyond looking into Legal Aid.

    Answer by bugfin at 1:37 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • MaryMW said everything I was thinking and said it better than I could have- Good luck to you and remember- once you have children, they are your first responsibility and you only have a very short time with them.

    Answer by soyousay at 2:22 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

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