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8 Bumps

I am traumatized when having sex!!!! adult content

when i was in the hospital about to have my baby, well, you all know that there are lots of hands going in you checkin how dilated you are and stuff, when i have sex with my husband and he touches me down there i hate it! hust because it comes to my mind how everybody touched me! to me it felt like they were raping me with permision, its crazy but i cant get that thought out of my head when im with my hubby, please help me! what can i do? my husband doesnt know what to do, we have tried everything! just having sex isnt the same anymore. dont get me wrong, i enjoyed childbirth but just that moment that i cant forget.

Answer Question

Asked by ariadnebila at 5:47 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (139 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • You need some counseling, this is not normal.

    Answer by older at 5:50 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I agree with older, get yourself in to see a professional.

    Answer by tobys.mommy at 5:56 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I'm with these guys. You need some help to work through this. It's not the kind of thing you can do on your own, or that will just go away. I'm so sorry that your birth experience made you feel that way! Did you say anything at the time? Just FYI, you CAN refuse cervix checks. They really don't mean a lot anyway, even in labor. Good luck, mama!!

    Answer by musicpisces at 6:00 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I totally agree with what Older said. Counseling will help you tremendously.

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 6:01 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I'm sorry.
    Having a baby is wonderful and Doctors/nurses are only checking to make sure all is well with you and the baby---they are not invading you or 'raping you' so I think you really should see a Doctor/Psychiatrist about this. You need to feel better about childbirth,Doctors and sex......its all good ,but somehow you lost track of that.
    Good luck!

    Answer by kerp1960 at 6:04 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Ditto ^ ! Otherwise, when did you have your baby? Maybe it's too soon and you should try to build your relationship/friendship in other ways for a little while before trying again. I don't know what else.

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 6:07 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • aww. sorry to hear that. But you should definitely talk to your doctor, or try to get into seeing someone like a counselor to help you through this difficult time. Is your hubby understanding of how you feel? I hope you are getting the support you need and I hope you get things straightened out for you and your hubby. GL!

    Answer by sugaree at 6:26 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I don't think there's much we can say to fix this for you but more we can support you and try to understand. If seeing a therapist isn't an option, I'd talk to your primary care doctor and explain how you feel. I didn't like it either at all but it's party of having a baby. If this is ruining your sex life, it's worth talking to someone. Rationally, you know it's part of the deal but your feelings of rape don't seem entirely normal....unless something happened in the past and this has reminded you. Good luck.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:47 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • thanks girls for all your answers, i had my baby 4 months ago, and well i have thought about going to see a psyquiatrist but i dont have the means to pay for it, does anyone know how to get help without it being so expensive? my hubby is very patient still, but i dont want him to get bored waiting for me to get better and go look for sex somewhere else. help!

    Comment by ariadnebila (original poster) at 8:59 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Not normal. I might have not been in the mood a lot due to just being tired and breastfeeding all the time but it was traumatic when it happened. Once he turned a year old I was never hornier.

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 10:46 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

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