For those first/natural/birth mommies here who are in open adoption... how do you introduce your child who was adopted to someone you know?
Maybe this isn't something that many people face... I just am curious.
For adoptees, what would make you most comfortable?
Our 24 yr old daughter is our son's first mom. Last night, our 14 yr old dd, 9 yr old dd, our son (he's 5), and our 23 m dd - all spent the night with DD and her husband and our 1 yr old grandson. DD wanted to take the kids with her to church this am and we were ok with that.
BUT at church, she introduces DS to many people with this story, "This is "A"... he's my son but my parents adopted him and they raise him. He also calls me Mya."
She was homeless and having many issues in her life, living with her other mom when she called us to raise him. That part is a long story but we didn't take him from her - and we all tried to work with her for over a year for her to be able to parent. She opted to relinquish independently.
I am so thankful he gets to be such an active part of her life - but she making these speeches today (she only does stuff like this when we're not present) - made him uncomfortable. They also made our 9 yr old uncomfortable, who is also adopted. He came home and without my even knowing all this told me he doesn't want to go back again.
I don't want our son to not want to be around her, etc. and maybe he's most comfortable being around her at home.
BUT, does anyone have any suggestions on things I can do to help her not draw unneeded attention to him, etc?
I've talked to her before about the fact that just everyone you meet doesn't need your whole history. It's not hidden - we're not ashamed - but you don't have to advertise everything all the time, either.
Sometimes being mom to both presents very unique challenges. And with her being an older child adoption - she wasn't legally adopted by us *we don't need a piece of paper to know she's ours - that paper is pointless sometimes* - we raised her as a tween and teen and she came back to us by her request after our son was already in foster care in another state.
Maybe I'm just tired and it won't matter tomorrow.... LOL
Answer by LADYA1983 at 7:40 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
Answer by meriana at 8:30 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
Answer by frogdawg at 8:52 AM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by frogdawg at 8:56 AM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by onethentwins at 1:30 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by san78 at 3:08 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:43 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by 2ndtimewish at 10:23 AM on Jan. 11, 2011
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