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Grounding a kid

I have a child who is grounded for the week. To me this means doing things with friends, not family. If I take the other kids on a family on a family outing, does he have to stay home. My boyfriend thinks yes. We have always meant grounding as not doing things with your friends. I think if he and his ex wife raised their child (who, by the way, is perfect and their parenting was also perfect - or at least that is what he seems to believe) that that's what grounding meant, that 's fine. But with my kids grounding has not meant the child had to be excluded from family activities. And so now he is making me feel stressed as if my decision is wrong and making me feel pressured to do something that I don't think works for us.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • Grounding is grounding... If you want to give exceptions, then expect the child to walk all over you. GL

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:29 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • This is your child and your choice. For our kids, they are grounded from things with friends and we would not plan extra fun family things during a grounding, but if our family is doing something the child in trouble is not left out.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:31 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Grounding means what you make it mean. At my house grounding means you go NOwhere. Not with friends, not with family. No phone, no tv, no computer, no stereo. I was always very careful before throwing it out there and for how long. Grounding grounding me too. Thankfully I didn't have to do it much. They also would have extra pulling weeds, cleaning the garage stuff like that.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:39 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • You are allowing him to make you feel that way. You have to be confident in your opinions and your parenting skills.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:40 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • For me it would mean not hanging out with friends- I would keep him involved in family activities. Grounding is different in evry family though. Do what works for YOU.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:44 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Grounding for your children is your definition. Sounds like your boyfriend has skewed views on his own parenting skillls....

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 9:55 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • keeping a teenager from doing family activies with family, might actually be a reward!! LOL!! most teens i know want to hide in their room from all family!

    Answer by itzmyzoo at 10:02 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • You are allowing someone else's opinion affect you. You need to work on building your self-confidence.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • To our family, grounding means no tv, no computer, no cell phone, no activities with friends. It does not exclude family activities because frankly at this age, it is often a bigger punishment to spend time with family than not.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:25 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • For us a grounding meant that they could not do things with their friends. They were never grounded from family time. They could go out with us as a family, which was every Fri. or Sat. night or Sun. during the day. Hubby and I believe that teens should not be allowed to isolate themselves from family time so to us that would have been a negative. Because they had no TV, computer or game system in their rooms we never grounded them from those things. Evening TV time was family time, computer time was always only for school & if they were grounded then they lost time on the game system that was in the living room. We never sent them to their rooms when they were in trouble because in our home bedrooms were only for sleeping. They didn't walk all over us. They were and are very social people and hated not being allowed to spend time with friends so they very rarely got grounded.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

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