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Am I the only one?

I see posts here all the time asking how to get kids to eat, sleep in their beds, stop talking back. It really makes me head hurt, because I always want to say "they're kids, MAKE THEM!" I usually don't bother though. I mean, I understand that some kids are particularly high strung and stubborn, but even they can be helped by parents who set boundaries and assert dominance. Isn't that what parents are for? My question is, am I the only mom on this site who doesn't sweat it when my child "refuses" to mind? Am I the only one who insists on being the winner in a small child's battle of wills?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Nov. 12, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (15)
  • I guess you are. You must be the only perfect parent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • No, you're not the only one. I too know that all situations are different, but in my house if you don't mind...there will be consequences and my husband and I ALWAYS win the battle.
    supermomkell

    Answer by supermomkell at 8:52 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I understand SOME people... like there are times where my child refuses to eat.. but other things.. like talking back, hitting, spitting.. I don't see how ANY parent doesn't have control over that...

    LyTe684

    Answer by LyTe684 at 8:53 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • No, I'm with you. I agree with you. They are children and WE are here to support them and help them to grow into responsible adults. My attitude with many things is, "My way or the highway.". LOL. Yes, sometimes you have to bend a bit here and there to give children the chance to "be themselves". But that doesn't mean we're supposed to give in to their every whim. I don't know. I was always taught that while you're kids are young, you are their PARENT, their guide. You are not supposed to be their FRIEND. When they become an adult (or at least close to it), then you can be their FRIEND. Especially at THIS age, you have to be the backbone of the family, not the BFF.
    jenettyshome

    Answer by jenettyshome at 8:54 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Well said jenettyshome! :)
    supermomkell

    Answer by supermomkell at 8:58 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • No I don't think so. I have never sweated the small stuff. I have tried to turn things into games and make things fun so my kids don't think about things. My mother told me a long time ago, "Pick and Choose you battles" That is what I do.

    I think people forget that children are people too. They have minds of their own and if you just keep pushing they are going to push just as hard.

    My thinking may be different , but I do not believe that I always have to win and that my job is to teach my children to become well rounded, independent, functioning adults. In order to do that I believe they need to think for themselves with my guidance.

    I am not a perfect parent and I do not think there is one. I just think that we can all learn from each other.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:03 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • i really dont think she is claiming to be a perfect parent there is no such thing but yea what goes on im my house is the law you can sit and roll your eyes and talk back and slam doors all you want (i have teens) what is going to happen well your going to lose your door its my house i am the only one who can slam doors around here and you will lose the rest of the battle i love you but i am your parent ergo the BOSS i say things once the second time it had best be done or your going to be looking at me alot more then usual becuz you will be grounded and spending lots and lots of time with THE BOSS
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:06 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • well I understand all to well My husband works a swing shift so i am the only one who is home with them... i feel like i have to run a tight ship and we have a routine it works for me. when my husband is home he let my children get away with things i dont so it puts us off our routine and when he goes back to work they know it tough but mom is boss and we can not try her she wont budge an inch. I have a 5&10 year old and we are and well oiled machine..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I am FAR from a perfect parent, but what I say goes. Or it tries to go, or it goes out the door.... lol.... but my kids know when I am serious and are usually pretty good at listening. I think a lot of people give in to tantrums and whining, and their kids turn into brats. I absolutley will not respond to unnecessary whining and crying. Some kids are just uncontrollable, but most are able to be taught and it is our job to do that! We are parents and shouldn't try to act like their peers. It just doesn't work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • NO, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE, I FOR ONE HAVE ALWAYS PICKED MY BATTLES, ONES THAT MATTER NOT INSIGNIFICANT ONES.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:18 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

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