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How do you teach children to be respectful??

My twin girls are almost 6 and they seem to be very respectful to everyone BUT me. I can pretty much take them anywhere as long as there will be other people around....but as soon as we are by ourselves then the good behavior is out the window. Other girls in my family who are their age act so mature and well behaved. It is a world of difference when they are separated though. Suddenly they do seem to listen slightly better....but the disrespectful tone of voice can still be there. I don't know how to handle it. Timeout is a joke....they will stay there but it has no effect on their behavior. They will come straight from timeout and I will ask them "why do you think you were put in timeout" and they don't even know. Taking away privileges is no help....because they don't really have "a" toy or activity that they just can't live without. After 5 minutes they've forgotten it was even taken away. I could probably throw out 3/4 of their Christmas stuff and they wouldn't even realize it was missing. I wonder if they don't have ADD issues....since they don't really sit down long enough to play with anything in order to make it an "important" toy that I could take away. I dont really know what the word for it would be...they just don't really care about anything. And the noise level....they run around the house like wild monkeys. It seems that the more I discipline, the more they like knowing what they can do to tick me off. It starts every morning when they get up and think it will be fun to get into things while mom is asleep. Yeah, almost 6 and still in the getting into stuff stage. And I'm talking like 6am on Saturdays. So I wake up to the sound of kids playing in the bathroom or getting into candy at 6am, which I guess the act itself isn't so bad but its just the fact that they should KNOW by now that I don't allow it and they do it anyway. That is what makes me mad. So I start yelling and sending each one to a different corner....and of course they tell me NO, I DON'T WANT TO!!....so then I start the counting to 3 or 5 or whatever, and they start yelling and stomping and screaming...and that is my house at 6am. HOW do I get them to be calm, respectful, mature (for their age) kids??? My 5 yr old niece wouldn't dream of such behavior. And no, I don't just allow it to happen....that is why I am writing this...I am at my wit's end because I feel like all I've done all weekend is yell and put kicking screaming kids in timeout. Suggestions, please??

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Mama2twins05

Asked by Mama2twins05 at 10:42 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think they are seeing how far they can push you and they obviously know what buttons to push to get you really mad. In my house we did colored marbles in jars. We bought the kids jars and let them decorate them, then we got different colors for each child. If they did something good they got a marble, if they did something wrong we would take a marble away. Once they got "X" number of marbles they got to do something special, like spending time a lone with mom or dad, going for ice cream, or hainvg their favorite dinner. You have set the rules up so they know what they need to do and maybe even post them somewhere they can see the rules. I believe in positve rewards instead of always punishing.

    Also, look and see how other people think they act, it might be they are comfortable at home and that is way they are acting out. I know my kids behave much better when they aren't at home, which is what I want.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:55 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Show them respect, and they will show it back. Try not to yell or shout, or act any way you wouldn't want them to act, infront of them. Tell them why it's improtant to be polite.
    MandyOs

    Answer by MandyOs at 10:56 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • i thik to teach them to be respectful to you is when you correct
    them talk dont yell. also try to explain to them to talk to you the way you are talking to them
    when they want some thing they have to say mommy can i please have........... it worked with my
    7 and 6 yo
    19angie74

    Answer by 19angie74 at 12:08 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I had to demand respect from my now 7 yr old. I first had to get rid of the bad influance in our life and then demanded respect . I stop giving her things she wanted and told her if she wants things she have to respect me by doing these things. I had to constantly correct her on the ways she talked to me and she came around as she got used to my new rules. I still have a few slip ups but she know i mean business. GOOD LUCK
    strongnbrave

    Answer by strongnbrave at 1:25 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • OMG they are my 5 yr old rolled into one! he does exactly the same things. i am having him evauated again! i believe he has adhd and odd. but so far noone will listen to me! he is ok out in public, and when we are home, forget it! i don't even deal with him anymore.
    im at the point where i don't know what to do.
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 9:47 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

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