my oldest DD (12) molested my youngest DD (6). My oldest is living with her Grandparents right now while the investigation is ongoing and placement is being discussed. I haven't talked to her, it's been almost 2 weeks. I haven't seen her either. I just don't feel ready yet. I'm still a mess of emotions and none of them are good.
Everyone including my ex-husband (her dad) thinks I don't care about her and that I hate her. That's not true though. I just don't know what or how I feel or how to deal with or face her. I am starting counseling this week hoping it helps. But in the meantime how am I supposed to feel or what am I supposed to do?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in General Parenting
Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:05 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
You are suppose to feel mad, sad, angry, scared, upset, confused, and a whole lot of other mixed emotions. This is very normally and getting counseling is a step in the right direction and it will help. Now, I can't tell you what to do, but I think (I put think because I have never been in this situation so I don't know what I would actually do) that if I was in your situation, I would call your daughter and explain to her that what she did was wrong, and that you love her, but you need some time apart from her. I may be wrong but I think you have posted about this a week or so ago and if I remember correctly, you said something about your oldest have behavior issues and problems. The reason why I would call her and tell her this is because, from what you have told us, I honestly think that someone has done this to your daughter. Cont..
Answer by JeremysMom at 11:19 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
Cont.. It doesn't mean that it was right for her to do it to someone else, but what if during the investigation, it turns out that she herself was molested. I think that your daughter needs you but I understand why you don't want to talk/see her, but I think you should at least speak with her on the phone even if it is very brief, just something to let your daughter know that while you are VERY disappointed in her, you do love her, and you are working on getting her the help that she needs. If you can't do this by phone, then you may want to consider writing her a letter. I know you are going through a tough time right now, but just remember to take it one day at a time.
Answer by JeremysMom at 11:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
I would write her a letter then and just reassure her that you still love her, but you need some time apart to figure out what the best situation would be for the family right now and that is why you can't speak or see her at the moment. You don't have to go into detail but something that will ease both of your minds.
Answer by JeremysMom at 11:44 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
Answer by musicpisces at 11:53 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
Answer by musicpisces at 11:57 PM on Jan. 9, 2011
Answer by amessageofhope at 12:42 AM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by premiemom18 at 5:15 AM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by LiLJeni at 2:22 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
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