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Any suggestions??

I have a 1 year old daughter.. she just turned 1 on Jan 5th. I found out that I am around 5 weeks pregnant with my second child. My daughter is so jealous. I can't hug or talk to another kid and i can't play with another kid either.. she will get jealous and start pitching a fit. She recently started hitting me in my stomach. I don't know how to keep her from doing it b/c she don't understand. And I'm scared that she will be even more jealous when the new baby is born. She loves babies but she doesn't know how to treat them.. she will give them a kiss and try to hug them but once she's done she will push them away. And she don't like sharing her mommy. Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by BabyMills09 at 11:17 PM on Jan. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Not really, but I wish you lots of luck. She is used to having all the attention and she will get used to being the big sister. When the baby comes, she will be older and better able to understand. When the time comes, make a big deal out of being a big sister and set aside time for just her.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:20 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • You have a 1yo who is hitting things and you think she knows anything about a baby, or even what hurts your body? Is she doing calculus too? Playing violin concertos?

    One of the reasons 1yo humans don't get to be parents is because they do not understand the boundaries between their bodies and the rest of the world, anymore than they understand anyone's experience that isn't happening to them. It's a good long time between 1 and understanding that gravity works ALL the time, not just when it feels like it.

    First off, you have nearly 9 months of her growth and development before there will be a baby. Then, when the baby arrives, she won't be just 1 anymore... and she won't be babysitting her sibling, either. Since babies very neatly come with mommies, the baby will be protected all the time by mom, right?

    They will not be left alone in a room together... right?

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • I think that in the grand scheme of things, it's great that it takes babies 9 months to come. It gives everyone a chance to get used to the idea. She'll begin to get the idea and will adapt just fine. I have a pair that are 16 months apart. They did just fine.

    Answer by Jambo4 at 11:24 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • Maybe try getting her a doll, and teach her how to treat it like a baby. There are lots of books out there for helping kids understand new babies entering their families. Do some shopping on Amazon and see what you come up with. DS loves a book called "My New Baby", even though there isn't a new baby coming! LOL There are also books for parents on dealing with this situation, so that might help, too. Ease her into seeing you with other babies, so she can get used to the idea, and point them out to her. When the baby comes, tell her it's her baby, that the baby loves her, that Mommy loves her just as much as she always has, etc. You can get a special gift from the baby, too, when you deliver. I hope the transition goes smoothly for you!! Hang in there, mama!!

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:27 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • No she will not be left alone with the baby. I was just asking for suggestions. You don't have to be like that. damn it was just a simple question!!!

    Comment by BabyMills09 (original poster) at 11:28 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • She has 5 baby dolls and she loves on them most of the time. But if she gets mad she will hit them and throw them out of her crib. I know she is to young to understand but i still hold her baby dolls like real babies and show her how to hold them and tell her this is how you hold a baby.. you be nice to the baby and love on it!!

    Comment by BabyMills09 (original poster) at 11:32 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • My cousin went through that (she now has 4 kids under 5). Start explaining now and make it fun for her. Also when the baby come, buy her toys/ activities that she can do on her own

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:39 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

  • My 23m old was this way - she's changed a lot since we took placement of another baby 2.5 months ago. I was surprised that for the most part, her adjustment came naturally with minimal guidance. One thing that helps is having her be Mommy's Helper. I feed my baby, she feeds hers. I change my baby, she changes hers. etc

    Congrats and good luck!!

    Answer by AAAMama at 12:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • How often is she around other children? Try to get a playgroup together and get her used to being around other kids before the baby is born. It would be good for her to interact with other kids.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:34 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • she is around other kids just about everyday.. well at least the days i have school. She is around her friend(shes 1 to.. only a week older than my daughter), she also is around her 2 year old boy cousin and her 5 year old uncle. She plays with all of them, until they start being mean to her then she retaliates. She hits on them and pushes them and everything.. mainly b/c they like aggravating her and they try to be rough with her. That's the only way she really knows how to "play".. b/c that's what they do.

    Comment by BabyMills09 (original poster) at 3:14 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

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