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Vent

Yesterday was my birthday and my DH had to work all day, so my mom said she was going to come by at 3 or 4 to watch movies and drink wine. She called around 5:30 to tell me she was finishing work had to go home to pick up the wine then would come over. I think it was around 8 when I called and no answer so I texted her but nothing. Not until 10:30 she called and said she fell asleep and wanted to come over. But by that time I was frustrated and angry that I told her to not even bother with it.

I do have to say that this is what my mom does, she flakes on me quite often. And when I call her out on it she says she doesn't flake. I feel like this is my fault bc I know her and how she is but I keep thinking she's going to follow thru.

Answer Question
 
vjoaquin

Asked by vjoaquin at 12:01 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,786 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • remember this day. She's going to feel bad when you don't even bother to call her to do something because you think she's a flake, maybe then she will take a look at herself
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • my mom islike this too....Its so aggravating and most times she flakes and its like important stuff like watching the kids so I can go to school or work....grrr Thats sucks....sorry:(
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 12:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • A good friend of mine pointed out several years ago that expectations are planned disappointments (or intentional frustrations)... and you have demonstrated, at least once, that expecting your mother to be someone other than whom you have ALWAYS known her to be is not reality.

    How much more proof do you need? Are you so angry at her that you need to keep demonstrating why it is she deserves to be punished? Could you, instead, just leave this alone? Walk away. Make other plans. Don't expect her to 'be there' anymore than you expect the weatherman to be right.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:10 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • happy birthdayI know that's has to be aggravating. I hate it when someone says they are going to show up with dinner or a movie, or whatever else you can think of, but then at the last minute they don't call you. Instead, we wind up calling them most of the time. I believe that some people do that just because they know they can get away with it. It's just as bad when people are late. I guess you didn't have much of a birthday.

    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:11 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Linda I know I keep telling myself the same thing ALL the time! And I keep telling myself that this is the last time but honestly I don't know how to stop.

    vjoaquin

    Comment by vjoaquin (original poster) at 12:16 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • My mom the same i just cut ties with her i dont promise her anything and if she promises me anything i pretend i didnt hear it i never rememebr after wards cause i dnt count on it and at the same time she just wanted to make you happy at the time and than figures hse will let you down later will be easier just put your head up and party on her bday without her an next year go out for a movie even if it is by your self dont be angry i spent plenty of birthdays alone :)
    premiemom18

    Answer by premiemom18 at 5:37 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • of course it is going to be hard cause you love your mom but you can just hang out on yourself & have a better time yeah when you go out somewhere dont call your mom just do it by yourself & if she calls dont answer her call she will realize that she is being not so nice mom atall
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 1:20 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • My mom is the same way! I agree with LIndaClement but it's really hard to accept and you so badly want her to follow through because you have faith in her, she's your mom etc. I have no advice but just want t say sorry:(
    Aquarius80

    Answer by Aquarius80 at 11:55 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I'm sorry bout your b-day. If that's something that your mom does on a regular basis then you really shouldn't try to rely on her. It accomplishes nothing but hurt feelings. Next yr maybe your S/O wont have to work & if he does then just make plans with friends or family that you can count on. That way there's no more disappointments.
    amy197

    Answer by amy197 at 12:01 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

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