Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why I am not happy as before with him?


What's wrong with me? I've been with my man for almost three years now. Been engaged for a year and half. Don't plan on getting married for a long time. I find myself not as happy as I use to be with him. I don't get those butterfly feelings anymore, look forward to anything really except maybe sex a few times a week. I wish I felt like I did when we first started going out together. How can I bring that back? I dunno if it's me, us or him. Any suggestions? Please ask me for more info if you care to know more specifics.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:16 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Usually its just the natural progression of a relationship. It happens with all of them...it is a rare case where the initial love and butterflies stick with a couple for years. (I actually don't believe it happens with anyone that long, but some people claim it does...) I think it is normal. I know it has only been 3 years, but have you ever heard the phrase, "the 7-year-itch"? That is an age-old phrase to describe what happens to married couples around that length of time -- you just don't have the same powerful feelings. That's often when and why people cheat...they are looking for that spark.

    Or, maybe your instinct is telling you that he really just isn't the one, and you are "settling." Only you truly know.
    SandyHack

    Answer by SandyHack at 2:21 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • you sound like old married couple you need to shake things up
    greet him at the door with just a towel
    call him at work talk sexy
    take bath together
    think of new way's spices up
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 2:24 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I agree with dutchcanadain?....Anyhow, she is right, you have to bring the sizzle back into the relationship. Whether it be with sex or whatever. What she suggested is right...If you start being sexy and trying new things, that feeling will come back. But, it will be more of that closeness that you share with your spouse or SO. Bring back the sizzle and i bet you'll find that those feelings come back and then some...Good luck!
    gogogirl79

    Answer by gogogirl79 at 2:47 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • ANY BABIES ??????????????????????

    IF NOT ?

    DUMP HIM !!!!!!!
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 5:06 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • What were some of the things done together when you first met? Try going on a "date" or having a romantic dinner and quiet evening, things to rekindle that flame. If it were my situation, i would try those things and also evaluate my relationship in terms of why i feel the way i do. I would ask myself if I'm still in love with him or do I simply just love him. But that's what i'd do. Like i said, try doing something fun or romantic..If you don't feel any different, have a discussion with your man. Good Luck
    virgo550

    Answer by virgo550 at 8:26 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • There aren't always butterflies once you're in a long term relationship. Try some new things, try making more time for eachother. I know my husband and I have gone through these spots (been married for nearly 6 years), one of us will mention that we're kind of "in a rut" and that we need to reconnect. Its normal when you're with the same person every day to not find them as exciting, I mean, you see them every day! lol
    foxy420_1

    Answer by foxy420_1 at 9:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Breath and do something crazy and shocking. Make sex great!! See if that helps
    CollegeMama10

    Answer by CollegeMama10 at 1:14 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Thanks for your posts ladies. I think that I might be depressed lately too. ( not suicidally or anything). They say Winter is hard on a relationship.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:53 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN