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rude MIL and my pregnancy

Me and my FH have been living together for a year and at first everything was great. His mother was going through a divorce and told me all about it every chance she got. I sat and listened, realizing she had a son and probably no one to express her feelings to. But push came to shove she was talking about me more than she was talking to me. She would tell me that I did such a good job cleaning up, but would tell my FH I messed up the hard wood floor; I put appliques on my sons wall, she told me they were cute but told my FH I was ruining the walls. First off my FH bought a house and moved his mom in and being the sweetheart he is he let her have the master bedroom so she would be more secluded and we could have some privacy- which didnt work. So finally it hit the fan that I knew she was talking about me and she cursed me and my FH out his dad called and told her she needed to move out, but she refuses to. She comes in and slams the doors, stomps really hard coming in at 11pm while are trying to get sleep before work, and just bombards in every one of our conflicts, and has went so far to tell him that I am cheating on him and the baby may not be his. My FH no longer deals with her because of how she treats me and has asked her to leave because now more than ever we need the extra room for the baby. I have however stayed out of any arguments with her because my stress level has already gotten too high. My FH feels that because she is so mean to me (she doesn't even speak or say hello) she should have no involvement with our child. I agree with him partially (until she gets herself together)but then its a difficult situation to be in because unfortunately right now we all live together. I don't know exactly how to deal with this. A child is a child, yes I gave birth to them but I dont own them and whether I like it, she is still their grandmother. Opinions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Wow your MIL sounds like a handfull. Sorry that you are going to soo much unecessary conflict. First of all she sounds like she is maybe jealous because you and your hubby had it all "together". Maybe she is feeling the need to control your lives because hers is out of line right now. If I was in your shoes I would write her a letter maybe expressing all your emotions and how you feel, it would be less stressfull than trying trying to talk to her, as you described I can see that she would probly flip out if you did try to have a F2F talk. Writting it down will also let you vent it out & hopefully make you feel a little better. If she still continues to act like a beast, call the cops. I know it sounds drastic but you are pregnant & baby comes first!! They will happily take her out for you so you can have some peace.. until she calms down at least. I hope it all works out for you!! Good Luck hunn!! *:)
    Milani_Hunni

    Answer by Milani_Hunni at 5:56 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I think your MIL is going through a serious depression and needs medical help. She also needs to move out, I think your FH needs to calmly give her a deadline to find a new apartment. He could help her look. I think she is afraid that once she moves out she will be alone, the problem is she is making that happen faster by her actions. Once she moves out, I would let her see the child. Good Luck.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:13 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I won't help to keep your child from her. I guess try to make very casual conversation & keep emotions at a distance. She is prob the kind of mil that you have to keep a little distant, but she does sound like she's sad. Your starting a new life & hers as she knew it is ending. That's gotta feel like crap.
    babiesandkids

    Answer by babiesandkids at 8:33 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • It seems like she wants to be be your friend, but with her going through a divorce it has probably caused her to be more angry about her situation compared to your situation with your family. She could bennefit from some counseling which would allow her the chance to learn how to work through her feelings and become more positive. It will be hard to help someone who is consumed with this situation.
    Aries46845

    Answer by Aries46845 at 9:00 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • If you want her out, you guys need to get together and give her a move out date. If she refuses, you may have to get the law involved. I hope things get better for you, and good luck with the baby.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:29 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Sounds like you MIL needs an eviction notice before the baby arrives. Good luck!

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:58 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • i think it would be better all around if she moved out. your stress would be a lot lower and you and your family could breath again. this stress isn't good for you or her or your kids! she might like it though, some people are like that. after she moves out then i would go visit her and ask her whether or not she wants to be in the child's life. you are making the right decision not to just jump to those conclusions like your FH did, like you said it should be fair and she should be able to see her grandchild.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 11:22 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • yes hon she is there grandmother but she is treating you not so nice & your unborn child dont deserve the negativity she is givng i hope if she gets better or wants to get better so she can be around her grandbaby when it comes goodluck mama
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:53 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I'd be telling her to find some where else to live, I couldn't live with my in-laws!
    mommy2onekid

    Answer by mommy2onekid at 3:33 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

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