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2 Bumps

How offten do you do favors for people?

Everyone knows Im on break from college till the 25th, but they all think I have nothing better to do then help them. I have gone grocery shopping, bank runs, cleaning, made meals, taken to dr appts and several other tasks for family members. I cant say no because they make me feel bad but its getting to be an everyday thing. I help with this stuff when school is in session but less often. I have my own errands to run and house to clean. Why is family taking advantage of me? I cant not take them to dr appts but really, you have a cold so you want me to come clean and cook dinner at your house? Im just sick of being nice.


Asked by Collegemommy910 at 9:44 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,875 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It's ok to say no sometimes! I'm the only SAHM in my circle of close friends, so I do things for them on occasion because it's easier for me than them. I don't mind helping out, but if I have other things to do I have no problem telling them no. No one has ever made me feel guilty because of it.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:48 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • People take advantage of the kind all the time. I have been a stay at home most of my life, so I know what you mean, they think we spend the day eating bonbons and watching soap operas!


    Answer by older at 9:46 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Stop answering your phone or next time tell them your on don't feel bad about not doing things if your getting overwhelmed with your own life because of it. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't do things/take care of other people!

    Answer by CABlonde at 9:48 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I completely understand. We homeschool so a big part of our days are spent here at home. My husband's family will call all the time wanting this or that or for me to drop everything and take care of something for them. I have stopped answering their calls during the day, it's the only way we get things done.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:49 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Would they return the favor? If not, then I would tell them you have things to do and you're sorry. I don't believe in being used. I believe in helping others as long as I know they appreciate it. I know some people don't have the means to return certain favors, but they should be able to understand that they shouldn't take advantage of you, or you're not going to help them in the future.
    I live by the saying "You teach people how to treat you". So if you're not making it clear that you have priorities as well, then they're just going to assume you can help them all the time. Maybe it's time to talk to them, so you won't feel this way on your next break.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:51 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • People used to take advantage of me but when I realized they would not do the same for me I stopped helping them I said no. Alot of people will not return the favor and sometimes at that point they cannot but sometimes they could and I would ask and the answer would still be no.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:58 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • i have been in your shoes before you just need to tell them nicely that u dont have time to help them right now you have your own things to worry about and you need to remind them you are in school and this is your vacation time for a reason u need a break and to start school with a fresh mind and they are not giving you that

    Answer by cnoble927 at 9:58 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I use to do those kind of favors and still do some, but people were taking advantage of me also so I nicely would just tell them I couldn't that day or whatever and now they don't ask as much, I have 5 kids so I really don't have the time to spare.

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:17 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Grow a back bone and stand up for yourself. Don't allow them to make you feel bad. You have no obligation to be their bitch.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:20 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • well sweetie you can say no just be honest with them & tell them you cant always do things for them when they ask they will get mad but will get over it you dont have to do thing everytime they ask if you dont want to let them know you have a life to & cant always be on there back & call & good luck mama

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

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