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7 Bumps

Does your husband.....

Do any of your husband have anger issues? I don't mean they hit you or are abusive just always angry? My So has a major chip on his shoulder. He lacks patience and empathy and is constintly yelling. I find myself apologizing for him on a daily basis. We are do to be married in a month. He is wonderful in every other sense but can not control his anger. He has even been through anger managment several times. Now, I'm getting cold feet. Does your husband yell a lot? how do you handle it? Do you wish you handen't married him? Or is this just a guy thing?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • my husband as an anger issue but he will never admit it. when he gets mad he's broken things of ours like the disc chamber of a lap top because he became so impatient and frustrated while he was working with it that he just ripped the whole chamber off and he's broken dishes and even our ceiling fan in the living room because we were fighting one night and he pulled the chain way to hard the light and the wiring came out. he's also thrown things when he gets mad. he's never done anything bad to me but i have to admit that when he gets that upset, it scares me and i don't feel safe. i wonder if i could really have kids with him. he won't admit any of it or go through anger management. so i'm not really much help except to say that i hope you REALLY love him if you plan on marrying him. cause that's the only thing that keeps me with my husband. i love in spite of that. but it's a hard life sometimes
    pmg1030

    Answer by pmg1030 at 10:25 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • It's not a "guy" thing - the only people I've known IRL that behave like that are no longer part of my life. Do you want to spend the rest of your years apologizing for your husband's bad behavior? It's not ok to yell and be angry all the time. Not only is it uncomfortable for everyone else, it also has adverse affects on your health. Anger management didn't work, will he go to counseling? I wouldn't marry him until he had his anger issues under control. What happens when yelling doesn't satisfy him? His behavior could escalate into physical abuse.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:01 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • IF you are having second thoughts; don't marry him.
    If you marry someone you don't fully love you will be miserable until you get out.
    Acid

    Answer by Acid at 10:09 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Nope not at all. I am the angry one, but not even close to the extent of what your husband is. I have only seen my husband really mad ONE time.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:58 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • No my Hubby isn't angry ever... But, my Ex husband was ALL the time. He hated everyone, just had a bad attitude all the time. He was also a royal smartass, and not in a funny way, in a very hurtful way. He would tell me I was stupid, that he hated his life. This was on a daily basis. It was exhausting to be around someone so angry all the time. The straw that broke the camels back was when I wanted to leave during an argument, and he crawled on top of me as I got in my car, tried to take my cell phone, and keys so I couldn't leave, and he got the keys but not the phone, so I called the sheriff. It was enough for me. It went on for 4 yrs and I was afraid that the next time he would hit me, so I put an end to it. There was so much more to what led up to the divorce, this was just a condensed version...... Search your heart, make sure you're going into this with your eyes wide open..
    Search
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:05 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • No, he doesn't. I refuse to put myself into situations with people like that. It is SO unhealthy. He truly might need counseling. And although he may not be hitting you, that constant anger is a form of abuse in and of itself... and it could escalate! I would be very careful.

    JessiFaye

    Answer by JessiFaye at 10:10 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I am currently pondering my own husband and NOT going on staying with him because "That is just the way he is.". Not any more he's not, not with me. Bye bye angry bastard.

    Take a step back, a big one and remind yourself YOU cannot "fix" him or make him less angry. Only HE can do that. Do it for yourself and any future children.
    JZ10FPM

    Answer by JZ10FPM at 11:03 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I've been married for 22 years and I can count the amount of times I've heard my husband yell on the fingers of one hand.


    You're right to have cold feet.  Put the wedding on hold until he gets his anger issues under control.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 12:13 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • this might be one of those red flags that you need to take notice of and confront the issue before getting married. I would be concerned if I was in your situation.
    Aries46845

    Answer by Aries46845 at 12:46 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I think you have more than cold feet. I think you have had a glimpse at what you might be in store for in the near future. I also think that the marriage will only make the anger issues much worse. You are in for a ride I think. What you should do, if not run far and run fast, is postpone that wedding until this guy can get a grip. He will need some heavy duty counseling it appears to me. I think you should bow out of this one because the out of control anger is nothing to play around with. You will have regrets I am afraid.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 9:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2011