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3 Bumps

am I being selfish, or am I tired?

Okay, I've been taking my dad to dialysis for a year now, and it's starting to take a toll on me emotionally. Out of five brothers and sisters, I'm the only one who have a vehicle to take my dad. My mom make these off the wall, inconvenient appointments knowing I have kids to get off the bus at a certain time. She never consult me to make sure I'm available, she just schedule these times thinking I'm so pose to adjust my time to fit her schedule, but it should be the other way around. I'm having to call my 5 year old school and make last minute arrangements so i can get her off the bus on time. My mom does not care, she is simply selfish. I'm tired, and I truly wish someone else can take my dad just so i can get a break. Am I selfish?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Not at all.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 10:06 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Is there anyway your mom can call a medical transportation company and have them take him instead? It does seem kind of selfish. Why can't your mom take him?
    gumby11883

    Answer by gumby11883 at 10:07 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • No, your not. It's time the rest of the family pitched in and help. You can't do it alone, nor should one person be expected to carry the weight of the entire family!! Maybe you need to be less available, make your mother reschedule to fit your needs or simply say that you can't provide a ride at that time. Funny how people can suddenly deal with they are pushed into it!! Good luck Hun!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:09 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • My mom never ever learned how to drive, and yes, i recommended they call medical transport but for some reason my dad does not like the service. I'm so worn out, and I really wish there were other alternatives.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Your not being selfish. Tell your mom that you need to make the appointments or you may not be able to take your dad to all of his appointments.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:10 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Your not selfish, you are tired. It's tiring just taking care of your immediate family. Can you make your father's appointments yourself?
    notlott37

    Answer by notlott37 at 10:10 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • How often does he need to go to dialysis? You are not being selfish. If she wants you to take him she needs to work with your schedule. Can you intervene and make the appts instead? If he's going on regular basis (weekly) why can't his appts be the same day, same time each week or month or whatever?
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 10:11 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • nope my hubbys grandma does that to his mom all the time....aggrivating..u need to tell her that if she cant work the appts around your schedule then hes going to have to take a cab or something!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:12 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • No, You have to take care of your kids first and foremost. Even if your dad is sick he appointments could be before or after enough to give you adequate time to get home for your kids. You should be having a say in what time the appointments are or you should just lend them your car.
    LarkSundsmo

    Answer by LarkSundsmo at 10:12 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • My dad's health would be very important to me. The simple solution is to schedule the appt yourself or make it very clear WHEN you are available.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:18 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

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