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Selfish not to have children?

Why is it that I've heard couples that decline to have children described as "selfish"? Is it not better to not bring a child into this world if he/she is not wanted? If a couple want to maintain their current lifestyle, but feel like a child will cramp their style, how is this selfish? They're being selfish to an imaginary child?? If someone does not want to have a child, for whatever reason, they really should not have one. I honestly don't see how that is selfish in any way. Please humor me because I've heard this far too many times.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Jan. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (29)
  • Because others are judgmental assholes who need to comment on the lives of everyone around them. Not having children is not selfish.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 11:26 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I don't find it selfish. It's selfish to bring that life into the world and NOT take care of them.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 11:27 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I don't think it is selfish, but I do think they will miss out on an experience of a lifetime.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:30 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I agree with you. :) That being said though, LOL, I was just thinking about this yesterday. I know two women that have not had kids yet and I realized that they both live very selfish lifestyles. If they were to have a baby any time in the near future it would be one of the biggest wake up calls ever. Not knocking them by any means, they are wonderful WONDERFUL ladies, just very much absorbed in anything but nurturing another. haha :) I just thought it was funny that you ask this right after I was putting my own thoughts into it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I think people look at that couple and see the money they get to spend on them selves and the freedom they have and just get jealous....
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 11:30 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I've never heard anyone refer to not having children as selfish.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 11:31 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • That is really unfair-----the decision to not have children is valid and actually UNSELFISH. They admit that they might not do justice to the job of parenting and have other things in their lives that take time and effort and would distract them from good parenting.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 11:31 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I hear this a lot also - I think that comment is completely rude and wrong - I don't find it selfish at all to not have kids.. to each their own. I am being told all the time that I am selfish because we are only have one child.. which to me, is ridiculous also
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:32 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I think people look at that couple and see the money they get to spend on them selves and the freedom they have and just get jealous....

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID a minute ago

    --------------------------------------------------
    YES!!! I think you have hit the nail on the head....SOOOOO true!
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 11:32 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I find it very unselfish when you know that you can't handle having children. My brother and his wife are in that boat. My brother has OCD and knew that bringing an infant in to their family would not be good for or the child. And my SIL is older and has some health issues that are hereditary and didn't want to pass them on to a child as they have been the cause of her depression for years.

    I hate when people assume that couples without children are selfish. They are actually smarter than those that have children when they know they can not properly care for the child.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:33 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

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