I guess somewhere in between me wanting a baby girl so bad, and actually becoming pregnant with one, I started to let some things go that used to be important. I pretended like things were better than they were so I could let myself be excited for our next baby. So what if we don't spend as much time together doing fun things? So what if it doesn't seem like we have much in common anymore? I'm pregnant, things are just going to be different. Then after a couple big fights I realized that it had taken time to get where we are today. Slowly but surely we had let a lot of things go that had been reasons why we worked so well together in the first place.
Well, now we're here. Trying to just work on being friends in between raising an energetic 2 year old and both working full time. With our schedules the way they are, we hardly ever see each other. When we do it's never anything special or exciting. It's really hard. We're hardly improving at all with being friends, and I try to do something I haven't in a while. I wake up a little early, make sure I feel good about myself, and get myself a little dolled up hoping that since we have the morning together for once that maybe things could go right. Maybe we could have better sex then we have been having. Unfortunately, like usual it didn't work out.
It's just so hard trying to feel good anymore. I hate hair and literally have to make sure everything has been recently shaved to be able to do anything. If things end up happening anyway and I don't feel like some parts are smooth enough, I have to try and avoid him touching those places without ruining the mood. :/ I've always been insecure about my boobs being so big and not perky enough, so it's VERY rare for me to be in less than a shirt, or bra-less when we're getting intimate. Oh and thanks to my first pregnancy my once favorite position is out of the question now! I have minor hemorrhoids. Lucky me, I didn't know that I had them until after a couple times in a row I noticed my husband kind of covering that area with his finger during doggy style (GREAT). I felt sooo embarrassed and now am way too insecure to try that position again until something is fixed.
Now with my new pregnant belly with baby #2 on the way and my even LARGER breasts, it's hard for me to feel sexy in missionary either. I thought I was the only one getting bored, but as he brought up this morning, he is too. :[ I feel so depressed right now, we're failing at being friends and now realizing how much we're failing at being romantic with each other as well. How does everyone else do it? How do you find the time to make it work and not mess your relationship up? I just keep thinking if we can't do it now, how are we going to make it with TWO kids? I do plan on getting a breast reduction after I'm done breastfeeding baby girl and getting my hemorrhoids removed as well, but that's almost a year away. I don't know what to do, things feel hopeless right now and I'm so sick of crying.
I want to feel confident and sexy in the bedroom. I want things to be exciting, I WANT him to try new things for once or for me to feel more comfortable with doing them. I want us to be happy as friends too. I want us to argue less, and enjoy each other's time more.
Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by louise2 at 1:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by louise2 at 1:50 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by louise2 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 10, 2011
Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:13 AM on Jan. 11, 2011