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what do i do about a 11year old

my son is 11 and has been so rude and mean it not like him but i dont know how to deal with him i can ground him and he just looks at me like he dont care we have tryed everything i can think of even spanking him nothing is working please help i cant even look at him without getting mader we have to take him to school becouse he was kicked off the bus and was happy about it he told his grandpa to shut up and put his finger in in grandpa face he is rude to me and his dad i am at a loss we have even took away sing in chruch witch he loves and still nothing i am so lossed please help

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hill5

Asked by hill5 at 10:50 AM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • it sounds like he's acting out for some reason. have you considered having him see a counselor? if you can't afford one, you can ask the school's counselor to see him. i'd start with his pediatrician, they may also have some suggestions or give you a good referral.

    if this is new behavior for him, it needs to be really checked out.
    pugpin

    Answer by pugpin at 10:53 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I just have to say, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds horrible! All I can suggest is taking all privileges away (tv, phone, video games, activites) and only give them back when he has shown you that he is trying to change. You have probably tried this already. Also, do you know if there is any kind of kids boot camps in your area? I know it might sound extreme, but if the situation doesn't get better and only seems to get worse...you might want to consider it. Best of luck to you! :)
    supermomkell

    Answer by supermomkell at 10:58 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I know just what your going through except the disrepecting part. I will not tolorate that in my house. Yes my son does have an attitude but i think all tweens do. I think that it's all about consistency we as parents must stay consistent. I am going through alot of that right now. He is punished as we speak. At one point i allowed bed time at 10 or 11 now he must be in bed at 9:30 i removed the game from the room and the computer. He has 1 half hour of tv during the week before bed and i hour computer. And i will keep this up until the school and myself see some kind of impovement. Good Luck
    randee39

    Answer by randee39 at 11:26 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Have you just simply talked to your son? How about talking to your pastor? Once I was so mad at by 10 year old I though I was going to explode. All of a sudden I yelled “SOMEONE NEEDS A TIME OUT!” Then I walked to my room. It threw the kids for a loop. I know as a mom it is so hard at times when our children begin acting out. Something seems to be going on with him. At my house if we have problems we UNPLUG, then the children have books and essential electricity. Then we talk. With the respect thing part of it is unfortunately his age and possibly testing you. Does he have a bed time? Children of this age need at least 9-10 hrs of sleep.
    mommaoffour327

    Answer by mommaoffour327 at 2:38 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Ok...ladies some of ya'll are too soft. I do agree there is an issue he is dealing with...BUT that doesn't mean he gets to disrespect and not listen. Like another mom sd, take away everything...I mean his room should have nothing but a bed and a dresser. Put away ALL game systems, computers, TV. Let him know, when he is ready to talk to you about his issues, then he can come talk to you. But he has to learn just because you feel a certian way, doesn't mean you can act like you dont have any home training! And when he starts displaying respect and not acting out, congradulate him, and give him his stuff back, slowly, but ONLY when he acts right. Because if you go too soft on him, or dont do it at all it'll get worse. Good luck sweetie!
    YanniSmoMMy

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 2:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • i completely agree with yannismommy! i have an 11 year old daughter who is grounded this week...no tv, radio, phone, or visits with dad for 1 week. i made the mistake of feeling sorry for her last nite and let her eat dinner with us, she seemed appreciative at first but then started saying her punishment was retarded...i immediately put her to BED at 7 at nite, she was mortified..but this morning she got dressed for school, brushed her teeth and even washed her plate without me even asking her....also! i have to take some blame 4 her smart mouth, she'll still b punished but i have 2 take a look around and see who she's learning from, unfortunately i do realize that she sounds alot like me sometimes...and i have 2 keep myself in check and accountable also. has ur son learned this behaivor from anyone?his dad?u?or maybe a friend he's been hanging around?if so talk 2 his dad...check urself...or eliminate the friend.
    yomamaporter

    Answer by yomamaporter at 9:33 AM on Nov. 13, 2008

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