Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I explain to my son with ADHD that I love him but he doesn't have to hug me every 5 seconds without hurting his feelings?

My 9yr old son had ADHD, and takes meds daily. Which help him, but since he has started taking the meds, he comes up and hugs me like every 5 seconds. I love my son dont get me wrong, and love that he wants to hug me still, but it is starting to get in the way of taking care of my other children, housework ect..... I love my son and hug him back but how do I explain to him that he doesn't always need to hug me, He can simple just tell me he loves me when I can't stop what I am doing. I tried to talk to him about it, but it always ends with him in tears. I am not trying to hurt his feelings. Please help, we are all trying to adjust to him being on meds and I am just at a lose.

Answer Question
 
stefanie9601

Asked by stefanie9601 at 5:52 PM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Maybe you don't need the hugs, but maybe he does! I wouldn't discourage hugs, especially with a child who might be sensitive to discouragement!
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 5:56 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Make an effort to give long tight hugs between chores. You initiate them when you can. Don't ask him to stop tell him. When he wants to hug you when you are busy tell him you want that hug but you need to finish up what you are doing so he better be ready for a big one when you are done!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:56 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I believe it's possible that it's meeting an internal need that he has. Hold on as long as you can - soon he will be too cool to hug his mom.
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 6:00 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Thanks, I know my time is limited with the hugs, and I love every minute of them, I just need to find a middle ground for making sure I meet all of his needs and the rest of my familys.
    stefanie9601

    Comment by stefanie9601 (original poster) at 6:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Medication will assist a person in calming down the unquiet mind and to give the person an opportunity to have a filter, think about a thought instead of doing instantly, and to really be their true self. It takes about one month before I can really decide if a particular medication is working or not. But if your son is not sleeping well, not eating and loosing weight, more anxious (that could be the hugging) or depressed....call the doctor's office and talk to the doctor's nurse. They may decide to switch medications, stop the one you are on currently, and have you come back in. Or if hugging is the only issue...it may not be seen as something to be concerned about. Personally, if you do not already see a counselor I would. Treatment for ADHD included both medication, CBT (a type of counseling therapy), diet, and a sense of humor is a must. Plus exercise. You can set limits about hugging. It is called
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:19 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Personal space. We all need it and we need to teach our children rules about personal space. My guess is your son is either anxious too (and it can be addressed with his doctor or therapist - both) or maybe his medication isn't the right one for him at this time. Most kids with ADHD do not get personal space concepts. Social skills training is also a big part of the treatment. It is not because of poor parenting....it is the brain of a person with ADHD is both wonderful and different from those that don't live with this disorder.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:24 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • frogdawg- thanks, He is seeing a counsler every 2wks, I will also talk to his doctor about the hugging. He has been on the meds for 3 months now so Idk what it is. Thank you though
    stefanie9601

    Comment by stefanie9601 (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Jan. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN