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How do you feel about an "only child"

Im am curious as to how you feel about having only one child. Somtimes its by choice, sometimes its not. Do you believe you can raise a healthy happy child who has no siblings?

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newmomtina

Asked by newmomtina at 11:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • Well it wouldn't be easier because a child even just one child is a very precious thing and your whole LIFE focuses on this baby, Being able to give more to the child will be a plus, But i know that my little one is already 2 years old and we have another on the way I didnt know how really lonely she was without a playmate, and a friend of her own size, until my niece spent the night with her so now i dont feel as bad having another child, she will always have someone to turn to when me and her daddy pass on way way down the line, She will always have family

    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 11:42 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Depends on the parents. Gals who are in 'super mom' mode and hyper parent their only child make for really obnoxious irritating kids who are completely unaware that they are irritating. Educated moms seem to run into this a lot. They have enough intellectual power to over think everything related to their kid, and try to make the 'perfect' decision, making for picky finicky kids who want an adults attention 24/7, don't really connect to peers because they are more used to adult interaction, have trouble sharing, not only material objects, but others attention and have difficulty adapting to unfamiliar settings and circumstances because they have always lived in a world where adults adapt to them rather than the other way around.

    A parent that consciously is compensating to prevent this can definitely do alright, but I've run into more irritating only children than not.
    Kestrel1

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 11:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I guess its their choice. But, I know my son was three when we had his little sister and he was overjoyed at the thought of a baby. He always wanted to buy her things and carry her around (didn't let him until she was about 6 months old though) he gave her everything that was his if she wanted it. She didn't even walk until she was 15 months old because he carried her all the time. Even now, they are 3 and 6 and they have a close bond and love each other. We have other kids now and a another baby girl on the way and the older kids are more excited than me and hubby.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:14 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I currently have a 2 yr old and want another one but then again sometimes i dont I went through alot to gether in this world and even more to kepp her alive. Sometimes a second child scares me and other times its perfectly fine. i have had 2 miscarraiges this yr and i was wondering if i am not meant to have anymore children.
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 12:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I don't know if I agree totally with Kestrel1 but THIS I do agree with...the intellectual parent that overthinks every single thing on the planet....that's me. I know if there were another child or 2 in my home, my kid wouldn't seem nearly as irritating to me as she is because I wouldn't have the opportunity to know every single cotton picking irritating thing. I could live in ignorant bliss and it frankly would make me a lot less bitchy. Due to a large age difference between me and my siblings, I felt like an only child. I related better to adults than to kids my age which I think is what drives me nuts now..if only my parents would have just let me be dumb....it sucks being smart...it makes everyone else more annoying. I'm telling you there is something good to say about just being average. So I say GO for it....have a bunch of kids, let them eat lead paint and play in the street....they'll be happy and normal ! LOL
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 12:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I liked having brothers and lots of family. I'd like my daughter to have the same. It's OK if she's an only child though. I treat her the same as if she had brothers or sisters. She has to share with her playments and cousins, eat well, follow the rules, etc. Just b/c she's the only one I have right now, doesn't mean she has to be spoiled. Now, if only I could convience her grandma of this!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Plenty of people were only children and are happy and healthy adults. Having said that, as long as more kids were a choice for me I would have more than one...only because I cannot for one minute imagine my life without my brother and sister...we are very close. Friends eventually have to go home...I could not imagine how boring Christmas morning would be without sibs. But that is just MPO
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Um, well I think there are pros and cons, but I think most children benefit from having at least ONE sibling. Lots of only children grow up wishing for a sibling. I think they tend to be a bit more self absorbed, but I don't think it creates bad kids. Read the book "the birth order" book. It talks about this some. Kevin Lehman is the author. Also see if you can find other books about onlies and make a determination. Ultimately its what works for you and your life, but I would recommend at least one sibling.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • We were going to stop at one. I still only just want one, but my husband wants two more. We compromised and said that we would have one more and than maybe in a couple of years adopt. I don't think that only children are affected in a negative way. I am sure there are only children who are irritating and obnoxious, but I've seen my fair share of siblings who were loud and boisterous just as annoying.
    lizzeh

    Answer by lizzeh at 1:37 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • My son is an only child. He is very well adjusted and tends to get along with adults and children fine. He is more mature, polite and responsible than many of his peers. He is a fun little boy and we have a good time together. Where we live there are tons of kids so he always has someone to play with and hang out with. My home is where most of the kids end up so he is rarely lonely. I may have another child in the future but I may not. I would never have one to give my son a sibling it would be because I wanted another child and it was right for me. Many of my friends are only children they are the most successful people I know and are far from self absorbed or selfish. I know many kids with siblings who are selfish brats.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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