Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

What would you do if your daughter told you this ....

I have a 12 year old daughter. Her dad and I got divorced when she was about 3, but we have had a pretty decent relationship for her since then. I got remarried about 2 years later, and he was with one woman for a few years but is now engaged to another one ( been with her for about a year) .... and I dont like her at all . The reason I don;t like her is because she doesnt treat my daughter right at all... My daughter spends every other weekend there and Tuesdays after school, and my daughter is always upset when she comes home because she says that she is mean to her. That she calls her things like Nerd and nappy head ( my daughter has very tight springy curls ), and that she wont let her do anything while she is there ( like use the phone or watch tv)

Her and her dad use to have a very good relationship - she was daddy's little girl.... but since this woman has moved in she never wants to go over ( she didnt act like this with his last girlfriend either ) ... so I really believe that this woman is treating my daughter wrong .

BUT my daughter told me that this past weekend when her dad was at work ( he has his own business so he is back and forth between his office and home ) ... she seen her kissing the man next door and that she was sitting on the kitchen counter with her legs wrapped around him....... so when her dad got home she told him what she saw, he didnt believe her and now is mad at her, and he even let his girlfriend tell my daughter that she is a liar and is not aloud back at their home !!!!!

Can you believe this ? What would you do? I dont want to send my daughter back there, unless her dad can come and talk like an adult and explain why he is letting a piece of trash treat his daughter that way......

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (26)
  • I agree with you. Don't let hr go over there. Does her dad know how she feels? If he wants her back I say have him come to her so she can tell her daddy how she feels and what his new woman does and says when he's not around. She has to reason to lie. Sounds like your ex need to fix his priorities. After he actually let his girlfriend talk mean to her I would not allow her over again.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I would get in touch with her father right now and tell him exactly what your daughter has said. At 12 she has a right to have her own say to as and when she wants to see her father, as far as I'm aware, you could take him to court to get full custody of her and if she tells them that this woman has been basically bullying her then they will not force her to visit her father.

    So if I were you I'd tell him he either prioritises his new woman or his daughter. It's his choice and if he makes the wrong one woe betide him.

    Answer by leah_rai at 7:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • i wouldn't let my daughter stay over there, unless i was guaranteed she would not be alone with the cheating witch.
    and what kind of man lets a girlfriend say who can and can't come into his own house? is he whipped, or what?

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • I would have to say this is up to your daughter. I agree that that is no way for anyone to talk to a child. I would tell the ex off and his women too. But the relationship between DD and EX are up to them to decide.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 7:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Im not being mean but its all so hard to believe. It sounds like dd is jealous and may be making up stories. Sometimes its easy to read ppl. so talk to the fiance and see what vibe you get. DD may also need counseling to deal with this new woman and her bs GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Also, it is not right for your ex to have adults in and out of your daughters life.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 7:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Well if she is not welcome back in the home don't make her go. If he takes you to court explain that he allows his girlfriend to be emotionally abusive to her and allowed her to say she is not welcome back. This woman should be ashamed of herself and so should you ex.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • And whether this is true or not if dd is not happy there then she shouldnt have to go there

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Steph - I know it is ahrd to believe but I honestly believe my daughter she just said to many details for her to make it up, plus my daughter has always been very straight forward..... Plus after meeting this woman it is obvious that she isnt all there, and you can tell by her attitude that she would say those sorts of things....not to mention her and I went to school together and she was one of the biggest sluts in the whole high school !

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • Well I'm very sorry to hear that the father of your daugther is being treated so very wrong and I would like to say that my parents got devorced after I was out of school but my dad was not very nice to me and I feel very sad in side for her for what has happened to her and Ithink what your daugther did was wright and not wrong I think if he was close to her he would have lissen to her if he really loved her and Iwould not let her go back over if this woman makes feel bad so I think you just need to play this by ear and Ihope everything works out for you and your daughter. But I also hope that one day he will walk in on her and this other man as there making out and he gets her out of his life and takes his daugther back in his life again and maybe just do things with just her and make her feel safe once agian..

    Answer by auntie335 at 7:08 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.