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Teens having sex

Whats wrong with it if they are on birth control? If your child is honest with you on BC and has a good relationship with you then why damage it by not letting htem have freedom? Everyone has a sexual side( thats why we have kids) so why is it not okay for a teen to experience SAFE sex? I say put condoms in the bathroom so they can have them when they need them even if they leave the house they can take one with them. So my question why would some moms here make or let their kid move out before they are ready rather than let them experience safe sex?


Asked by youngarmywife at 12:04 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (36)
  • I think we have to find a balance as parents between controlling and neglect, between my kids would never...and permitting drinking parties in our homes. That said, my 15 year old knows that I would rather him have condoms and not need them than need them and not have them,and he jokingly throws some in the cart every time we are at walmart but has only actually bought them once. I talk to him about the ineffectiveness of BC and the fact that there are emotional responsibilities that go along with sex. I know that he will do it and he knows that I want him to wait until he is ready for any possible consequence. I am realistic about it but still don't want him doing it with me in the next room. We have a small house LOL!

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 3:44 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I hope my step-daughters wait until they're out of high school and more mentally and emotionally mature. They know that this is what I want for them. BUT if they choose to do it sooner, I want them to be safe. We haven't started the bowl of condoms route yet, but if they ever asked for them we would buy them.

    Answer by SamanthaAgain at 12:09 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Because if I wanted to do it, it had to be out of my mothers house. My kids are little but, when they are older they will respect me and hubby in our house and they will respect my rules. Currently there is a 7 year gap between my oldest and youngest and that would pose a problem if I allowed sex in my house. NTM, my kids will probably NEVER have their own rooms so, it would be disrespecting their siblings too.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I just think it would be better to give them freedom. When my husband came home from ait during christmas we had sex in my bedroom that i paid for at my parents house. I dont see it as a bad thing. Like i said everyone has a sexual side so why is everyone so afraid of it? Trust me your not the only one having sex out there. I also think that if your wont in your house when you live with your parents first your going to be very sexual frustrated and second why not there when you live there but you do when you live on your own with your kids its just as disrespectful to your kids as it is to your parents.

    Answer by youngarmywife at 12:17 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I am very open and comfortable talking to my child and listening to my child about sex. But just because I'm comfortable doesn't mean that my son (who is only 2) will be comfortable hearing that from me or wanting to talk to me. I will provide him with accurate information and I will also make sure that he has what he needs to in order to be safe. Every family is different about what they are comfortable with as well as what their expectations for their children are. My theory is that you as a parent tell your child what your views on sex are and what your expectations are BUT you and your child are the ones who have to live with sexual choices your child makes. I live with the knowledge that I am willing to reduce my child's chances of having a life long disease by giving accurate information and access to personal protection.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:24 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • To me it all depends on the age and the mental maturity. I will never just put it out there, thats saying go have sex I don't care. I would prefer my children to wait until they get married, I don't want my girls used, and passed around. Even if they are in a so called stable relationship, What do you call stable, 3 months, 1 years, 2 years. I am already raising my girls knowing that they are not to even think about dating until the age of 16 and even then its goin to be restricted, you may say that I can not stop it but I say with proper supervision and the things that I want to teach my girls on respecting their bodies I say I can stop my children from being sexually active to early.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • They should not be active at a early age. But i feel 16 is an okay age 15 is a little early. 16 is the age that they can work so if they wanted to they could move out by law. So why tell them no to sex when they are old enough to work and move out by law? THe law feel they are old enough to work and live alone so why are they not old enough to have sex?

    Answer by youngarmywife at 12:27 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I just disagree with the whole, no sex in my house thing. Honestly, i would rather have them in my house if they are going to do it than in the backseat of a car parked somewhere.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:37 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Mom1stepmom1 thank you! I agree and i think your a smart mother its safer being in their own home then being someplace in a car or in a hotel. Plus if they go to the boyfriends home then what are his parents going to do to your daughter? Are they going to punish her their way some parents do that and it snot okay but they do.

    Answer by youngarmywife at 12:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I think it depends entirely on the reason they are having sex. So much of it is peer pressure or just exploring. I wanted to make sure the person I had sex with was the only person I would be with, so I waited until college. I think it's a big committment to have sex, but so many don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2008