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3 Bumps

How to start dating again

I have been separated over a year and divorced for 6 months now. I have primary placement of my little girl plus work 30+ hours and go to school full-time. I do have tues nights off so I can be myself and get out (or I'd go insane). I have been on dates, but they don't stick around. They call after and I don't want to bring them into my daughters life, so they end up moving on. She's not dating them and until I feel that it would be serious I don't want her to meet them. The guys I do date I've noticed arent exactly the stick around type and I feel I'm subconsciously doing this. At first I even felt guilty still and our marriage ended because he had the affairs not me. Ugh. How do you just move on with small children? I don't want her to think shes my job and having children stops your life. Completely stuck with this whole dating thing. ADVICE PLEASE

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proudmama101906

Asked by proudmama101906 at 9:20 PM on Jan. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (304 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • How old is she? I think you are doing the right thing, i wouldnt introduce random guys to my kids either unless i knew they were serious. and just as long as youre not trying to find a baby daddy for your daughter, chill out and have some fun being single; when you were married you couldnt get the cute guy from the grocery stores number; in order to be a good mom you need to be happy, your daughter should know shes not a "job" you just wanna do the right thing
    My2boys0523

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 9:40 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • just go slow- and realize that upfront it's going to be hard to find a man who truthfully accepts a single mother. a lot of men are all talk, but there ARE men out there who wil. the key is to be straight up with them- let them know your intentions that you do have a daughter and are committed to her, but are not going to introduce her to the men you date. there's a real big stigma with dating single mothers- many men think that they want a guy to step in and be the dad to their child, and others don't take them seriously because they believe they carry a lot of baggage and "baby daddy drama". i'm saying all of this from experience too- and what men have told me....so when i was a dating single mother, i was always honest from the get go- and honestly i did do free online dating. it was a great and easy way to weed out the men who weren't worth it. i did find a great relationship from there. i wish you the best of luck!
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 11:31 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • go slow too because you don't want to introduce your daughter to each and every guy you meet esp. if the relationship doesn't work out.
    kim0167

    Answer by kim0167 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

  • think of it like this
    when they do not stick around, it is a great thing!
    less time wasted on someone who would not be a quality person in the long run
    you are just weeding out the unwantables in a very fast way
    it is good, otherwise you would be breaking it off with them, but spending way more time invented into a relationship with men that are not the quality you deserve

    you will find the right one, or he will find you, he is out there, you are just weeding out the others first
    sounds very quickly, and lets face it, your have little time to waste

    good job mommy!!
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2011

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