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Should I be upset?

My husband and I have a 4 year old son, and a two month old son. He has been working 7 days a week, and when he gets home doesnt pay much attention to our new baby. When I asked him why he said "I dont like them when their little, thats your job" I dont know how to feel about that comment...

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Asked by Djs_Jls at 12:32 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • I would have ripped him a new one!!!

    Answer by jmdelan2 at 12:33 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • well see my boyfriend didint do a whole lot with my daughter in the begining and i asked him why he said the same thing only he said its not that they dont love them when they are little its that they cant play to much or anything..he said when they are itty bitty babies thats when they need their mother there because they depend on the mommy..But when kay kay got to about 4 months he started doing everything and getting more active with her because she was interacting more.. he said its just more fun when they are older and when they are itty bitty mommys have to do it lol idk..he says its a bonding experiance for moms but as soon as your son starts smiling and makin noises i bet he is going to pay more attention! my daughter is 6 months and he cant walk in a room without buggin her lol it will be fine dont get upset about it

    Answer by gracie43008 at 12:39 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • My father loved when we were babies, but didn't have alot of use for us as children......everyone doesn't have to be an "all that" parent.

    Answer by EireLass at 12:41 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I would be upset! My boyfriend was scared to do much with our son when he was a newborn....but he admitted that to me and would still TRY to interact with him....He would hold him while sitting down (never walked around while holding him--too afraid of dropping him), he would bottle feed him and even change his diaper (although it took forever 'cuz he was so afraid of hurting his little legs). I know that when babies are that small...they are kinda "boring" meaning that they don't really do much other then sleep, eat & poop...but he can still hold him while watching Tv or something!

    Answer by Dabugg698 at 12:41 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I'd be upset at his phrasing but I'd understand the situation and what he must be feeling as well. My friend Derrick has been like a second father to my two girls and most of the time is the only father figure to my youngest (as her father pays little to no attention to her) and Derrick is amazing with my kids despite not being my boyfriend or the biological father of my girls but when he's been working endlessly for weeks he doesn't have much patience or energy to do much with the kids. We've had some big fights about it but I know he loves my kids and when he's got time off work he spends almost every moment with them

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Ouch. And who's job was it to create that child? If that were my husband I would be hurt and concerned. My husband's job is to be partner in all things. If my husband told me that I would wait a week or two until I had some time to think and be ,pre in control of my hurt and then I would sit down with him to discuss how I see our marriage. Then I would ask him how does he see our marriage and what roles "jobs" we have. Some families are more traditional or old school as far as what the husband and wife is responsible for. There is nothing wrong with that as long as both clearly are okay with that. I'm personally a woman who prefers to be my husband's equal in every way : childcare, chores, working outside the home, and finances. It sounds like the two of you need to sit down and talk about your partnership or lack there of.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • He doesn't sound very supportive to you and your new born...I would be upset and I think you have the right to be upset too!! It is both parents job to take care of a new born especially when you have another child...he sounds like he is drifting to me especially working so much and havin no interest in partaking with your new born...wonder if he was like this with your first child...? If so then you are with one insensitive man....feel bad for you! Good luck and god bless..

    Answer by tall_mom42 at 12:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Just wondering did he pay attention to your 4 year old when he was a baby?

    Answer by Dannee at 1:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • He was great with our first son...he was a little scared at first beacause they are so little, but was always holding him. And Im not saying he never pays attention to our new baby, but it seems he is doing much less than he did with our first. I know he is working alot, but if he thinks that what I do isnt work, he is highly mistaken. And I know he likes it more as they get older because they can wrestle and play...But we are not planning on having anymore children, and they grow fast. So I guess Im just kind of upset that he doesnt enjoy the baby stage as much as I do.

    Answer by Djs_Jls at 1:05 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • if he doesn't like them when they are little he should have kept his penis in his pants. my oldest is 16 and she is still my baby. and as soon as my husband walks in the door (well not as soon but shortly after) i hand him our one year old and make sure he spends time with her

    Answer by jodi205 at 1:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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