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My 4 year old daughter seems to have seperation anxeity and it's not just with me.

She cries whenever we leave my mom & stepfather, my sister and sometimes even my dad. We used to live with my mother until the middle of October and we all knew that it would be an adjustment, but she cries so bad and when we leave my mother mothers. We have even tried letting her stay in the hopes that maybe she would miss me & her new home, but she still seems to cry really bad when we have to leave. I've even bought her a new dog. She also cries whenever we leave my sister and she will cling to her also. She also clings & cries when I leave her at daycare and we've even switched her room at daycare for her to try to make it better...plus...she's been going since she was 6 weeks old b/c I've always had to work. Does anyone have any advise as to help me, help her cope with this? Pleeeeeasseee.

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sugabugasmom

Asked by sugabugasmom at 1:05 PM on Nov. 12, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • I would quit work..she needs you. Is there anyway you can do this? Children need their mother so they can develop their own sense of independency gradually. Some children manage to get through it (although you dont really know how this affects them long term) and some dont like your child.

    I would strongly suggest trying to be there for your child and stop working and starting being with her all the time until she is feeling more secure and more independent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am 44 and I still cry when anyone leaves. Sometimes, it's just their nature, but I would check it would with the Dr. to make sure.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 1:08 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • She is going through and adjustment and is anxious...but you know that. So now the question is what are you going to do about it? It is going to take some time. First, she needs a solid routine that she can get into. From morning until bedtime she needs to know what is comming next. Sit down with her and go over her schedule. Help her draw pictures of what her days look like. Prepare her well inadvance of transitions. "In ten mintues we are leaving grandma's." "In 7 mintues...in 4 minutes....2...1...time to go." She will cry. Don't make a fuss. Neither should your mom. Ignore the blowout and do what you need to to leave. Use the count down method for other transitions as well. Before bed time, before leaving a fun play activity, television...ect.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:11 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • cont..Cuddle up with her before bed and share what is good about your new home. Ask her what she likes about her new house. Go on adventures around your new neighborhood. Your local library has books on moving, new houses, and blended families that are age appropriate. Give her time but plant the seeds. It will take time. But the more that people feed into her anxiety the worse her outbursts and anxiety will increase. Staying calm and acting normal, even when she doesn't feel calm or normal, is important. Show her by your actions that there is nothing to be worried about. Also making her new room and new home more hers...let her shop for some home items to get excited about living there. She'll get there.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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