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I don't know if i should spank my son.

My son has been getting into trouble at home and at school. i don't know what to do. I got spanked as a child with a belt, paddle, wooden spoon and a leather strap. I got bare bottom spankings untill i was 14. i have never spanked my son before but hes driving me to the edge!

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Elle2778

Asked by Elle2778 at 2:04 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • There is spanking, and there is hitting. Spanking is a form of discipline and not down out of anger. Hitting is done out of anger and is abuse. Despite what my friends think, I think a good spanking is sometimes necessary! If you think it would be effective, give it a shot. My Mom always said to spank on the lower side of the butt, so you don't harm the child's tailbone.
    SandyHack

    Answer by SandyHack at 2:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I would first ask how old is your son. The last time I was spanked was 13. However, I was raised with corporal punishment. If your son is getting out of control now and he is at an age that you are comfortable in spanking, go for it. That may be what will get his attention. Just remember, you will have to prepare yourself as you have never done this before with him. If you are not comfortable in the spanking, try other means of punshiment that will be severe to him and just a pain for you to keep enforced. Any punishment for our kids always effects us also. Good luck with either direction you take.
    guyandtoni01

    Answer by guyandtoni01 at 2:11 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • The edge of what?

    If he's getting in trouble at school, they're handling it. If he's 'getting in trouble' at home, he's obviously already hearing about it.

    So... what are you hoping he'll learn here? Because 'discipline' is supposed to be about teaching something valuable in life. 'I'm really mad' he probably already knows, and he's probably already familiar with the more common 'I want to hit something until I convince myself I didn't create this mess...'

    One of the things I see happening to lots of kids is that they're communicating --and no one can hear them... Kind of like how your parents were trying to tell you something using violence, but you couldn't understand. Try 'words'... in fact, you may even like to find someone to help you figure out what the words might be.

    Clearly what you're saying right now is not penetrating... and he's not being understood, either. The frustrations are on both sides, I promise.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:16 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Sometimes kids just get into "dont care mode" have you tried taking away a toy, game -video systems are the best,lol- and let him think about his actions in his room and for the really stubborn ones, room time takes awhile but while he is in his room thinking of his actions and what he should of done, said,...... you also get time out from him.
    You must only feed, cloth, and provide bathing neccessities,..basics ...everything else is a priveledge.
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 2:59 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Spanking IS hitting, they are one in the same. Study after study shoes kids who were spanked have problems. Sexual problems, aggressiveness, problems focusing and poor self-estem to name a few. You're basically saying you don't know what else to do and you're frustrated so you're just going to start spanking your child as a last resort. Take away the video games, computer,etc. That will be more effective. Have him spend a Saturday doing extra chores, that kind of thing. All spanking does for" teaching" is teach a child that when all else fails and you are angry/frustrated, you should be violent.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:03 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Best punishment ever...you give him a fair warning- one more time of doing whatever it is that he is doing that is so bad, and EVERYTHING comes out of his room and he loses all privileges. And by everything, I literally mean everything but the furniture, bedding, and his clothes. Pull out all toys, tv, video games, everything. Put them all in a separate room. He is not allowed to touch those things til his behavior improves. He can earn back his possessions through good behavior, one thing at a time. No playing video games, no playing computer games, no going to have fun with friends, nothing til the behavior improves. The one thing I would let my boys have is one book of their choice. That's it. It really works if YOU are strong enough to stick with it through the whining and tantrums he is probably going to throw in the beginning of the punishment. When he realizes you are serious, he will get serious too.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:27 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • have you tried talking to him and REALLY LISTENING to him? find out what is going on with him?
    I'm sure there are reasons he is acting out and I doubt that spanking will do much to help-I mean maybe for a day or two it will seem better-but things will go back to the same I would guess until you find out what is causing him to act this way
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Each child has a "currency" which is THE most important thing to them. We used to take that away for an appropriate length of time as punishment. It won't necessarily be a toy. My youngest used to LOVE watching the trash truck. So, occasionally we would say he would not be allowed to watch it. Zero in on what makes him tick. Be Consistent!! Don't threaten something unless you really will do it. Like saying "you will never watch TV again". That is unrealistic and not something you can follow through on.

    Also, make sure he getsenough one on one time with you and your SO. Plus praise when he does things right. Lots of times children go for negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention. Plus he needs a lot of hugs and love. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:55 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • you need to really listen to your child.if u hitting he will rebel tours u.and one thing said what u mean,and mean what u said
    mwood108

    Answer by mwood108 at 11:14 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • bare bottom spanking at 14 is sexual abuse fyi. As we are in the tweens section, I would say his is too old. take away video game time/ tv time
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:00 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

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