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3 Bumps

is this my fault??? TMI the story is kind of long adult content

ok so a few days back my husband was complaining about us not having sex anymore he said he was getting tired of me not taking care of him sexually and me changing towards him he said i was more cold with him and that i wasnt the woman he fell in love with anymore so this really hurt me i guess with all the fights we had in the pass and us having a baby kind of got my sex level down so to try to safe our marriage i told him i was going to try to be that girl he fell in love with again he got super happy so after i told him that we been having the greatest days ever like when we where dating more sex im happy hes happy until now so it was our anniversary 3 yrs or marriage we were having so much fun it was perfect until 10:30 pm came up ( he works the grave yard shift cleaning a theater) he said im running late i thought he was going to work so i said ok ill see you in a few hours i love you and he run out the door so after he left i give him a quick call to tell him if he could bring me a snack when he gets hes break (we only have 1 car) he said of-course so he came home at 2:00 am from hes break and brought a friend with him i ask him what is he doing here he said oh im going to take him to work with me to help me so i was like what i thought you where at work apparently he wasn't at work he sign in to a bowling team without letting me know and was bowling and drinking with friends when he said that i exploded in anger i ask him why he didnt let me know he said oh i thought you knew he didnt even invited me with him so we started arguing and i was so angry at him that i got the snack he brought me and threw it at hes face and i left to my room he left to work i was so hurt because a few days back he was going to end our marriage because i wasnt giving him enough sex and when i finally do and we having a good time he goes having fun with hes friends in our anniversary day idk what to think or do i dont want to see him right now am i acting immature ?? should i even get mad ?? idk what to do...

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i would definitely be mad but thats men for you he isnt cheating just try and get active in the bowling with him and show him you care if he is who you want to be with than let it be something to help you guys work at bettering your relationship its sad he didnt tellyou and expected you to be happy bout it but i would be mad and upset and i would of did what you did just cool down and than tell him how you feel and say why you were so upset an why it hurt you that he didnt even tell you and than just become better at telling each other things and more open guys tend to not care about anniversarys as us ladies do so to him he probably spent the entire day with you and that was enough but to us we want more so just talk with him im sure its harmless :)

    Answer by premiemom18 at 6:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Why did he even think you would know that he had signed up for a bowling league? Men I don't get them sometimes. They want their cake and eat it also.While I think he did the most wrong thing by taking off on your anniversary and going someplace you didn't even know he was going to and then bringing home another person on top of that I also think they way you handled it was immature. But.... with that being said you were acting in anger and when we are angry we do things we shouldn't do.
    I would just try and talk to him and find out what he is thinking and why he would do that and say all those things only to do what he has done to you.
    I think you have every right to be mad. Good Luck Hugs!

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:24 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Your husband does sound like an ass 100%. But u did assume he was going to work, andhe didn't say he was going to work. But bowling at 10:30 pm?? Want kinda bowling alley dou ya'll have? I also do not want u to get upset, but do u think he might be having a affair?? My X started to ask prety much what your husband told u. My X way of thinking was "if she would have more sex with me, or maybe look a little better for him" ect. So then its my fault he cheated on me, so it will lessen any guilt he may have.. But yes I do not think u r ovr reacting; It ws pretty rude of him not to even u the benefit of a choice of going or not. What would he do if the "shoe was on the other foot?" And u do this to him.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 6:28 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • You have every right to be mad ! I'd get all the truth out of him or tell him to hit the road!

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 6:49 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Who bowls at 10:30 at night? You have every right to be angry. He may not of out right lied to you but for him to do this is wrong. For him to do this on your anniversary stinks. Thats probably why he didnt say where he was going. Then for him to come home and bring you a snack like he's on his break from work.........that is him being slick.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 6:55 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • this might sound childish, but that is just plain mean! i think you have every right to be upset especially when you were working so hard to save your marriage after he expressed issues with the way things were going. what a way to shoot himself in the foot!!

    Answer by pmg1030 at 7:34 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • It wasn't nice of him to lie to you. BUT - you say that you've been working on your marriage for a few days, I'd guess that this bowling league thing came up well before then. He lied to you, then brought his friend over and told the truth, it sounds like he thought he had told you something or why would he have brought his friend over and been "caught"? It was pretty wrong of you to throw food in his face, and you need to apologize to him for doing that.

    It's NOT right that he lied, but I think this situation shows how badly you both need to work on your marriage. He was wrong, but I think you need to get past this and focus on the future.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:48 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Sounded like a control ploy to get you to give it up more and now that he's getting what he wants, he feels he can do whatever he wants and it's all ok because you'll oblige. This is what I think he's thinking. He shouldn't have lied, or covered anything up. Maybe a good talk together will help.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:11 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

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