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2 Bumps

Why is it like this?

Before my DH deployed the first time we were so happy in love ( i was also pregnant with our DD). He left I gave birth to our DD he came home for 6 months but was in and out so much I stayed in another state. He left again this year for 7 months on another deployment came back and nothing is the same. We fight 24/7 to the point where I slap him and he hits me back (harder than I ever have hit him). Well last night it came to a blow where he repeatedly slapped me in the face and beat my hands/arms so much that my hands are swelled (i cannot wear my wedding band or barely type) is it even worth trying anymore? He said last night he was sorry but I don't think sorry cuts it anymore? Do we just need to divorce and go on with our lives :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Physical violence is never ok, and you're right "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. If you think there is love left in the relationship and you both want to try and make this work, get some marriage counseling.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:24 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Once you guys starting hitting eachother. The respect in your marriage was gone.
    hotrodlassie

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 9:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • divorce or not, if you're a military family, can you get counseling help through them?

    whether you decide to stay together or not, sounds like you both could use some help with all this.
    best of luck!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Hmmm, If you are hitting him you are just as responsible for the violence as he as. Where is your child during all of this? It sounds like BOTH of you need counseling. If that is not an option then it sounds like you both need to work out a plan that will involve both oif you in your child's life SAFELY. You both need to get your anger issues and violence under control before it isn't just eachother you are beating because you are upset.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 9:51 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I take responsibility in all of this our DD is ALWAYS asleep when we fight. I couldn't bear knowing she seen all of this. I blame myself. Idk where my anger comes from other than he emotionally cheated on me during the time I was back in our home state caring for our DD. Besides that I am not sure how we got this way :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:53 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • beat my hands/arms so much that my hands are swelled (i cannot wear my wedding band

    take this as a sign that your marriage is not a marriage anymore
    it has gotten to the point of physical violence that your ring to longer fits
    your marriage/committment does not fit into a realm of relationship
    it is all around abusive now
    both of you
    if military has therapy aval- take advantage of services, give it a try at least
    i am not a military wife, can only imagine what war does to a man - the before and after picture is mind blowing

    seek therapy together!
    good luck
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:02 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

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