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At what point do you learn to trust people with your children?

We have neighbors that we have known for a little while, maybe about 4 months. Don't know them extremely well, we just talk outside when we are leaving to go places.. Usually we are both so busy that we don't get together any other time. She has children that are a little older than mine and they are allowed to play with friends and stuff down the road and I keep my children in the backyard so our kids don't play together much except for maybe 3 times. She seems like a very sweet lady though. She offered to watch my kids while we go to an important Dr. appt on Monday that is about 45 mins away. Originally we planned on bringing the kids with us because Monday is MLK day and the daycare is closed! But we are supposed to get tons MORE snow this weekend so to me it seems safer than packing them up and driving 45 mins in those conditions with the kids with us. Also my DH would not be allowed in the ultrasound room with them, he would have to stay with the kiddos in the waiting room. I think maybe now would be a good time to start establishing some trust with her because who knows we may really need the help in the future (We have twins on the way), however my hubby says HELL NO. He doesn't want to leave the kids without someone we don't know that well. Totally understand where he is coming from but there comes a point where you have to atleast try and open up to people and trust them. What would you do in this situation?


Asked by Ctink8189 at 9:27 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think you have to go with your gut. It is a long time to leave your kids with someone you have only known 4 months. I think if you had started leaving them with her a little at a time before this then you would have a better idea of how she is as a caregiver. For me I started letting my kids go with other parents when they were 3 and 4 years old. They were in preschool and when we first started getting together it was always the moms and the kids. Once we had done that for about 2 months then the kids started going on their own.

    Good Luck with everything.

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • i would take the kids along. 4 months is not long enough for me to trust someone alone with my kids, even though she's a nice lady and all. that's just me though. the lady that lives behind me has children around my age and whenever her little boy comes over he wants my 4 year old to go in his house with him. i always say no because the mother lets her children run around the neighborhood freely and i do not want my 4 year old running the neighborhood freely.

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I don't think you know her well enough to leave your kids with her. It would be different if you were actively friends, but it sounds like you barely know her. I would take them with you this time, and work on establishing a relationship with your neighbor before asking her to watch your children.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:32 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Take the kids along especially if your husband does not mind watching them. As for trusting them, you need to invite them over for a playdate, and do the same with them.

    My kids are 7/8 and I only leave them with family, my two older girls get a little more flexibility, one they know right from wrong and if they see something they don't like they will call me. They are 11/14....

    It is hard, and your husband depending on their age has a point... You don't know how they live, you barely know them, take time to invite them for dinner have a movie night for the kids and the adults can talk and get to know each other....

    Good luck!!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 9:40 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • For me that would be a long time and a long distance to leave the kids there. I would say they could stay there when you were close by, maybe going to the store or something, but not for this. If something were to happen, you're at least an hour away and like you said, you really don't know her that well.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:53 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Our standard " If you would give the person/ people all of your bank info, car keys, house key, alarm codes, ss card etc... then and ONLY then can you trust them with your child"
    p.s you have NO control over what a person does with your child when your not there so you wouldn't have any control or say in how the personal information may be used either


    Answer by lmt_mom2010 at 10:24 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • If it were me, I would have my husband stay home with the kids. It's not like he can't just see the u/s pictures when you get home (which would be the same as if he had to wait in the waiting room). I'm sure he wouldn't know what the heck he was looking at even if he did go. I don't trust anyone with my kids, really. And I certainly wouldn't trust someone whom I've only "known" for 4 months.


    Answer by banana-bear at 10:29 AM on Jan. 11, 2011