Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is it bad that I am not close to or want my biological family in my life??

I am the baby of 2 kids, I was not raised by my parents (my dad was always around me he worked with my grandpa) I was raised by my grandparents (my mom's parents) because my dad worked all the time and my mom only wanted to have boys and well I'm a girl. My grandparents were well off, so I had a nanny (very strick hispanic nanny) that I spent most of my time with. I pretty much grew up in my nammy's culture, with similar views as she had. When I was 8 I was forced to move back in with my biological family. I have always felt like an outsider, around my mom and brother, & were never close to either of them was always close to my dad he was always around me. My dad and I were alot alike. My dad passed away in Jan 2010, now my mom wants to try and be a big part of my life (age 37) but didn't want to have anything to do with me until recently. I have always kept my distance, and after my dad passed I don't like talking to her because she is so NEGATIVE and VIAL. She is forever telling me how perfect her son is and how I would be a better person if I was more like him. I have not spoken to my brother since my dad passed, we have never been close and before my dad passed we had not spoken in 6 years. I have worked hard for everything I have, and done it on my own, the only person that supported me was my dad. So is it wrong for me to not want to have anything to do with my mom, and her son??

Answer Question
 
lildifferent

Asked by lildifferent at 9:36 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Life is too short to be involved with negative people around you and I can’t say that I blame you. You mom is who she is and playing favorites and it's sad that she is doing so. Do what is right for you.
    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:50 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • sounds about right, after reading your story-not being close
    why would you be close?
    family is not a bio thing, family is a love thing
    if you have loving people in your life=you have family
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:56 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • No its not wrong. My family and I are not on good terms either I finally just stopped talking to them it wasn't good for me.I saw no matter what they were just going to be negative and stressful in my life.
    jdbrown21

    Answer by jdbrown21 at 9:56 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I haven't seen my biological family since i was 14.(27 now) I made a new family for myself and haven't looked back. Sometimes they will call me, but i don't know them, and they don't know me. You have every right to feel the way you do!!!
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 10:39 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Well I believe if you feel like an outsider you must do what is right for you....closeness is something that should come natural with parents but if its forced to me it is almost like being abused so go with your gut feeling, I didnt meet my real dad until I was almost 24 and I felt awkard at first and then finally it all came together but what is right for me might not be right for you, as a step-child that's what I feel like too, so try if you can to be understanding of the situation and do what you can to be in there life if you want cause when they are gone that's it, it won't matter to nobody but you...
    Teresa496

    Answer by Teresa496 at 10:53 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I would stay in contact in a holiday card sort of way, just because she may have medical or genetic into that you may need one day, but other than that, I saw cut her loose if that's what you want.
    that's your right!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:21 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN