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3 Bumps

How are we going to do this.....

As some of you remember we had to take the dog to the vet and they said his hip displasia was getting worse... fine we can deal with that.... yesterday they called to say he was anemic and wanted to do an ultrasound... they found that he is bleeding out and has a mass...stated that the mass could be just that and they take his spleen or it is cancer and he only has 3 mo. the doc did not seem optimistic to me... well i kiinds stopped listening and wassobbing but,,,,

we have 3 kids the oldest is 8 and Jack is his best friend I mean that he talks to the dog and sleeps with him...everything...HOW DO WE TELL HIM? its going to kill him
I am heart broken right now and crying so hard i cant see

 
rebeccadac

Asked by rebeccadac at 10:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Pets

Level 22 (13,737 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I'm so sorry! It is so hard explaining to kids. We went through this last year when one of our guinea pigs died (we don't have dogs or cats, but the whole family loves the piggies.) The one who died was my son's favourite... he had named her and always said she was his 'little buddy.' When she got sick and things weren't looking optimistic, I tried explaining to the kids that she was sick, and that the vet had done what he could for her, and that we were doing what we could to help her, but that eventually her body was going to have to do the rest and either beat the infection or not. My 8 year old son sobbed for ages when she died... I felt terrible about it. The younger kids were also upset but didn't have the same understanding that he did. What seemed hardest for us was that she was not very old when she died. If the dog has lived a good long life, I would try reminding him of that.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 1:35 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • The easiest way to tell them i believe is to say, that (dog's name) is sick. Kinda play it off as just sick. And he's not feeling very well.. And if he/she is old tell him that since he/she is so old they might be going to heaven soon, to play with all the other dogs who are sick. If you preffer not to go that semi religious route, just say that the dog is sick, and the doctor thinks he may be going away.. There's no way you can really have an 8 yo or younger understand. It's just something you can only explain, just comfort them and they'll do the same! Im so sorry to hear about your dog, my dog i grew up with died last summer she was filled with cancer and we had NO clue. Keep me updated on how everything goes!
    sbushman13011

    Answer by sbushman13011 at 10:34 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Teaching children to let go of an animal in pain is a very important lesson. It was a hard one that I had to learn myself. I was 8 when we had to put my cat down. She was my babysitter and my night time cuddle buddy. My parents explained to me that she was hurting here and that this world had given her all it could. It was still hard. But when they got it through to me that she was hurting I couldn't help but want her to be comfortable- even if that meant I would never see her again.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 10:36 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • you will find a way in your heart when the time is right- Like when the kids are with the dog.
    chefjen

    Answer by chefjen at 10:32 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Con't. My son seemed to have the attitude that death was understandable for an older animal but 'not fair' for a young one. We had a funeral in the backyard and let the kids say a few words or a favourite memory about her. By the end we were all crying. After a while the kids decided we should get another guinea pig so that our remaining pig would not have to be lonely. That semed to help them as well. Six months later, they all still talk about her all the time and often say that they miss her, but they seem to be more focused on remembering her and good memories of her than on grieving.

    ((HUGS))- remember, kids are resilient and are stronger than we think. You and your kids and the dog are all in my thoughts!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 1:38 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Be HONEST. Don't try and make up something to make them feel better or to ease any guilt you feel. Pets dying offer really valuabvle life lessons to children, and although they are painful lessons ...they are incredibly beneficial and helps them understand death. Be tactful but open, let them ask you questions and let them feel they can ask you anything.

    Start off now by saying that your dog is quite poorly and sometimes that means it's not fair to let them continue to suffer...or it could mean he doesn't have long to live (Whichever of those fits most with your situation). and although he's had a really happy life and everyone has taken good care of him, especially Jack;"like that time when we took him to the lake"... etc. Say that your dog knows how special he is and how much he's loved and although you're all going to miss him very much, he's had a great life and it's important you remember all the good things.
    little.knickers

    Answer by little.knickers at 5:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • cont...

    after all, your dog wouldn't want you to be sad would he?

    Let him write a card or draw a picture to be buried with the dog...let him pick out a plant to plant up on his grave. Ours pick out a garden ornament between them. I dont know what else i can say as i feel im repeating myself but its nearly 11pm here and im so tired.

    My heart goes out to you and your family, good luck and i really hope things go well for you. xxxx take care
    little.knickers

    Answer by little.knickers at 5:52 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

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