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Am I overreacting about his ways???

My boyfriend and I have just decided to take our relationship to the next level...talking about moving in together and getting engaged...he has only been in maybe 2 serious relationships in his life. he is 4o...so settling down is new for him...but i have a couple of issues, first of all, i'll admit that i tend to be a jealous person. i question, i suspect, i accuse...sometimes admitedly unneccessarily....but here's some of my issues with baby....first off- i do not think its ok for him to have JUST female friends. i do not think its ok for him to turn off his phone when we spend time together because he says "he doesnt want to be bothered" (might be true, but highly suspicious), no, i do not think its ok that he ooogles women when we are together...literally will watch them walk away. i have caught him on several occasions watching a woman's ass as she walks by....very disrespectful! and finally my most recent issue, i told him i wanted to throw him a party -- he says, "well, the reason i don't have parties is because most of my friends are women." so, me trying to being an understanding girlfriend, i say, "thats fine, you can invite them as long as you dont invite the women you've slept with"....he proceeds to say, "well, then i won't have any of my friends at the party then"....omg --- imagine how my jaw dropped. i couldnt say anything because first of all, that is disrespectful to me, i think, and second, wtf is he still "friends" with women he has slept with??? what is there to talk about?? so i hung up on him and have since last night, not answered his phone calls...he says he was 'just playing' but i dont think he was. so since then PLUS everything else, i am seriously reconsidering...i mean, he says he is not used to being in a serious relationship and wants to really try...and i can see in some areas that he tries but...can a man like this change their ways?am i overreacting?

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MsElastigirl

Asked by MsElastigirl at 11:18 AM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • I think first off, NO relationship is going to work until you work on your jealousy. Second, I would have a very hard time with my boyfriend hanging around women he only slept with and I am not a jealous type at all - I get that he can have girl friends, but it sounds like between his lifestyle and your jealousy, this can't work until you BOTH change. But you CAN'T change someone else.. period.. don't walk in to any relationship trying to change them.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:23 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • maxsmom, thank you for your response, and yes, you are so right! i am seriously trying to change the jealousy thing because it makes for so many pointless arguements...thats why i asked if i was just overreacting or if i should be rightfully disturbed by this.
    MsElastigirl

    Comment by MsElastigirl (original poster) at 11:28 AM on Jan. 11, 2011

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