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Helping a woman understand man logic

i am having difficulty understanding a friends man logic. This guy is in a relationship for about 4 years now. He has recently decided that he's no longer interested in his girlfriend but they are continuing to live together, but he has decided to start looking for a replacement on a dating website. his logic is that he's no longer in love with his current girlfriend so he wants to find another to date. but he doesn't want to dump his current girlfriend until he finds someone else. He doesn't see anything wrong with this scenario. It is very acceptable to him to have this behavior. its annoying to me and i've told him that its annoying but he doesnt care. I just want to make sure i'm not crazy for seeing that its wrong

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Jani2594

Asked by Jani2594 at 12:28 PM on Jan. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • No you're not crazy. He's immature. He basically wants to have something else lined up before he decides to let go of the current chick. Sounds like he needs to grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • golly does he think that the so called next girl is gonna be any better.... To be honest he sounds like a total ass
    booboo32

    Answer by booboo32 at 12:29 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • That is no EVERY mans logic... only the childish immoral ones.
    That is NOT the logic of the men I know and socialize with.
    If you are a good friend you need to tell him flat out what a horrid thing this is to do.
    If he has no issue with this kind of immorality... you need to reconsider that friendship.

    I personally do not keep friendships with people who have no morals.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • it is by all means wrong, but men have very sensitive ego's. this guy needs to find himself a new flavor before he can get rid of the old one. sounds like a pompous ass to me!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:30 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Man "logic" ... ha, ha, ha ... that's a good one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • You're not crazy. That's terrible. You need to figure out if he really doesn't understand that it will hurt this girl or if he simply doesn't care. I don't know him so I don't know how you can help him see the light but this is definitely wrong, I hope you can help him see the error of his ways before he hurts her badly. Does he have a sister? Maybe you can ask him what he'd do to her boy friend if he'd spent all that time stringing her along just to stomp all over her heart by keeping her on retainer with NO regard for the way it would make her feel when she'd been operating under the assumption that she was in a sound/long term legitimate relationship. It's just like cheating, and it's so painful to find out you're not good enough.

    Ugh. Men are kind of sick, my heart is almost breaking for this girl. I hope it doesn't mess her up for a man who could give her something real.
    ashleyaction

    Answer by ashleyaction at 12:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • It is my personal opinion that men (in general) simply don't have logic. Honestly! They don't think things through like women do, they just do what they feel like. They don't often stop to think about why their doing it like women do.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 12:33 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • Ashleyaction his sister died when he was 10 and the sad thing is he doesn't care who he hurts. I've even gone as far as telling his current gf that she should consider leaving him but she's to oblivious to what's going on around her to see what he's doing. I just posed the question because i don't think its right want he's doing and I've even gone as far as talking to his mom about it but even she can't get through to him. It does make me question our friendship because he's asked me not to say anything about it to anyone.
    Jani2594

    Comment by Jani2594 (original poster) at 12:39 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • I'm sorry. That's rough. I don't even know what I'd do. He knows it's wrong if he doesn't want you to say anything. Maybe tell him you are uncomfortable with his asking you to conceal something like that, you'd be devastated if someone you trusted was doing that to you or anyone you loved. If you are questioning your friendship, maybe you should tell him that. Maybe he knows it's wrong and hurtful, but maybe he doesn't understand that it offends and effects as many people as it does. I don't know if there is a gentle way to tell him that he'd risking more than just that one relationship, but there is no shame in ending a relationship kindly above board. There is also nothing wrong with looking and dating after he has done so. Maybe you need to ask him why he's so scared of being alone and if caving to that fear is worth hurting the girl he has had a relationship with for years, and if it's worth conflicting you.
    ashleyaction

    Answer by ashleyaction at 1:23 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

  • This is a guy that doesn't know the true meaning of love and has no respect for women. Why is he your friend again?
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:24 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

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